Faith

What is your definition of faith? Using your definition of faith, ask yourself: Do I have faith? When I think of faith, I think of the widow who gave the only two coins she had to the church. This story is found in both Mark and Luke. Now it is believed that Mark, while written by Mark was first the testimony of Peter. I can only imagine what this must have felt like to Peter. Having seen this old widow who was very poor give the only two coins that she had. Peter must have watched and heard Jesus speak and been struck to the core. It was earlier in Mark that Peter tried to walk on water and Jesus had to rescue him. I believe that faith it something that Peter aspired to ever since that point and then to see this woman to do this must have been quite the experience. She expressed such a faith that I believe it moved several of the disciples to tears. She didn't know how she was going to survive after giving away her only coins, but she did it anyway in faith. As Hebrews says, "Faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see." Now I can say that I have faith in God, but if I'm not actively showing that I believe in God, then I don't really have faith, just as James says that faith without action is dead.

So that brings up another question, what does faith really look like? Does this mean that we are all supposed to give up everything that we have for Christ? Are we supposed to be like the rich young ruler who is told to sell everything he has and follow Jesus? In a spiritual sense, the answer is yes. We are to focus entirely on Christ and what He wants in our life. When we become burdened down with what we have and worry about gaining more, then we lose sight of God. In a practical sense that means doing things intentionally in pursuit of God and using every opportunity to glorify Him. It means taking yourself out of your comfort zone and doing things to advance His kingdom. That may look very different in your own life. Maybe in your own life, it simply means donating money to the church. It may also mean leaving your very comfortable job for a ministry position that pays a lot less. Faith is about sacrificing something to allow God to show up. If we do things on our own, then we're not really using faith, we're simply doing it on our own. When we exercise our faith, we are believing God is who He says He is. It is no wonder that we have such a difficult time with faith. It goes against our logic and our societal norms, yet this is exactly what God calls us to. It's amazing at how we often treat those who act in faith. Their actions don't make sense to us, we may even condemn them for being stupid or at best just assume they are ignorant. We tell them that that isn't how the world works or try to explain to them that they are making a poor decision. The thing is that God has an upside-down kingdom. The things that make sense in our world, make none in His.

I was reading Donald Miller's book Searching for God Knows What. In it Miller describes his lifeboat theory where all of us are trying to prove to everyone else why we are better than others in order for us to stay in the lifeboat. He also describes how Jesus lived and how he did not ascribe to that theory, rather he did everything against that theory. He showed the value of those who were marginalized and how our world needed to learn that we must not show favoritism. Now I believe this lifeboat theory also applies to faith. Often times when we are acting in faith, everyone else may think that we're weird or being naive. If we get caught up in what everyone else thinks then our faith can begin to waiver. If, however, we remember that God loves us and that our faith is our response to that love, then it is our obligation to continue to step out in faith, despite the jeers of those around us. Faith feels unnatural and I think that is why God desires it from us. After all, God wants our devotion to Him to be unhindered and unobstructed and wants us to fall madly in love with Him, just as He is madly in love with us.

Perfect Imperfection

Every now and then I am reminded of some great Spiritual Truth. It always catches me be surprise and it's as though I am rediscovering my toes. It's always been there and I've seemed to take it for granted until now. It's as though all of a sudden I've realized its importance in my life and its life altering implications. I was contemplating the lyrics of a Skillet song that says "You were fearfully and Wonderfully Made". They are quoting David here from Psalm 139 where David is just in awe of God. Its a beautiful Psalm. He just pours out emotion into it and tells of how God has crafted him within his mother's womb. How God saw his "unformed body" and how "all the days ordained for me were written within your book before one of them came to be". David has discovered here how unique he is and how the maker of all the Earth, the One whose "works are wonderful," has created him in His own image. Something that David is not doing here though, is thanking God for specific things about him. He is thanking God for making him exactly as he is including every good characteristic and every imperfection.

Now David certainly had a lot of things going for him, but he certainly wasn't perfect. More notable of his failures include adultery and murder which of course both took place late in life. So why did David sink to that level? Why would he, after being so close with God, decide to commit adultery and then cover it up with murder? If you look through 2 Samuel, you see that David starts out as a war hero, who has slain many Philistines and has been made King over Israel. As the book continues though, you see that David starts to remain at the palace more and more while he sends his troops to fight instead. This man who has fought many battles, probably has the battle scars to prove it, was now sitting in his palace bored. As other soldiers would come back to bring him the news, he probably ached to go to battle, to be back on the front lines and probably started to doubt himself. Suddenly those slight imperfections that he saw in himself began to waiver his self-confidence and that is when his focus came off God and onto himself and slipped into failure.

This Psalm, however, shows David understanding his imperfections and taking hold of them in joy. He is grateful for being exactly who he is, every little imperfection included. He says that he is fearfully and wonderfully made. Those character flaws and imperfections lead him to have a deeper understanding of God's love for Him which in turn gave him a greater Love for God.

I want to be clear before we continue that when I talk about imperfections I am not talking about sin. I am more talking about imperfections that we see in ourselves that if we simply allow God to work, He can use them for His Glory. Here is a story that I'm sure you've heard before, but helps me to illustrate my point.

One day long ago there was a servant who had the responsibility of getting water for his master. Every day the man would take the same two water jugs with him to fetch water from down the road. He would fill both jugs up as much as he could and then would begin to walk back down the road. One of these jugs had a crack in it and would leak water as he walked. The jug would try its best to hold as much water as it could, but could never hold all of it. Day after day the servant would take the jugs to get water and day after day the jug could not hold the water. It began to feel bad about itself and jealous of the one that could hold all of the water. One day it spoke to the servant and cried, "I am sorry, but no matter what I do I can't hold the water like the other jug."

The servant replied, "My friend, have you not noticed the side of the road that I carry you on. Do you not see all the beautiful flowers that are along the road? It is because of you that they are there. If it weren't for you I would not be able to decorate my master's table with beautiful flowers. You see I knew about the crack in you and kept you on that side so that you would water these plants."

From that day on the jug prided itself in seeing the beauty caused by the leaking water.

God knows our imperfections, because He is the one who created us. We are fearfully and wonderfully made and because of that our imperfections are made for God's glory. Take Peter for example. After they arrested Jesus, Peter denied Christ three times showing his almost cowardly behavior. Then in Acts we see Peter as this awesome pillar of the early church. God used Peter's imperfection to share this sharp contrast and to display the Holy Spirit's power. It was for God's glory. Without Peter's self-doubt and cowardice early on, we wouldn't be able to see God's transforming power in his life.

The idea that I was created by God is such an amazing concept and completely life changing. Everything about me was designed by Him. Every little thing that makes me, me was thought of before I was born. The other day was a Lunar Eclipse. This particular eclipse happened on the winter solstice, a phenomenon that hasn't happened in the last 300 years. I was born during this unique time so that I could appreciate the beauty of it just as every part of me was uniquely designed to serve God's purpose in my life. Things that I see as imperfections are not imperfections in His eyes. No, our imperfections are perfections of His Glory. Due to my love of photography I get to see this a lot. Often times I have to take a lot of pictures just to get the right shot in some cases, but every now and then, there are photos that I take that are accidents that prove to be even more beautiful than the original photo. I took a few photos of the Lunar Eclipse and some came out very well, but there was one that I absolutely loved and it wasn't at all perfect, but beautiful nonetheless.

It is through these imperfections that we will be able to give Glory to God and have the opportunity to see His work in our lives. It is beautiful to see that God had me designed and created in such a way as this, so that I might have perfect imperfections.

Winter

I've had trouble writing lately, I have been distracted it seems, or simply uninspired. It could have something to do with the approaching season. We are currently on our way to winter, a season that many people loathe. I can certainly understand why. The other day, while driving, I noticed how bleak and dismal everything looked. The trees were all without leaves, the grass was dying off, even the clouds were not their normal bubbly selves having been replaced by sheets of gray. Whenever I visit my grandparents in Ocean City during the holidays I'm amazed at the scenes. The parking lots normally filled with cars and shoppers is now vacant and utterly deserted. The boardwalk, normally teaming with life and the air filled with the smell of french fries and fudge, is left like a ghost town with signs in the windows saying closed for the winter. It is no wonder that people get depressed or get cabin fever during the winter. It is in complete contrast with all of the other seasons.

If we're honest with ourselves we can acknowledge that we have seasons in our spiritual lives. there are times in our lives where we are bursting forth with fruit and when our growth is evident in all that we do. Other times in our lives we are filled with joy and wonder at new experiences. Still there are other times where we simply shine in our own unique ways and are simply content. Yet we all have our winter seasons. They may seem filled with little spiritual growth, if any. It may be hard to pray or your spiritual disciplines may seem like a chore. I know in my life whenever I hit these points I often wonder how did I get here and why am I here. The other day however I began thinking about it more. Sure winter can be one of those seasons where people are just ready to be done with, but there is such beauty in it.


During the winter, depending on where you live, you get to see snow begin to fall. It lays down this beautiful white blanket of snowflakes, whose intricate design can only be described as an artistic masterpiece. As the snow melts it creates icicles that hang like chandeliers all around. The gentle dripping keeps time allowing us to slow down and enjoy the splendor of it. No other season allows for this kind of beauty. No other time can you experience it. It also rings in true in our spiritual lives. When we are in the winter of our spiritual lives, we should look at it as an opportunity to experience and see a beauty that we can't see the other times. We get to see God work through our weakness, we have the chance to get a better assessment of our relationship with God. During the other seasons, it can be easy to be close to God. They are often marked by our spiritual growth and excitement. In the winter of our spiritual life, however, we may feel distant from God which He allows so that we can truly investigate our relationship with Him. He gives us the opportunity to step back and just admire the beauty of it. When you are in a spiritual winter, take that time to slow down, investigate what God is trying to teach you.

Waiting

Driving down the road the other day I ran into a bit of traffic. Now I think its fair to say that nobody enjoys traffic. There are few things worse than just sitting in traffic waiting to get to your exit or through the traffic light. It feels like we're not getting anything done in the process, we are simply stopped with nothing to do. So here I am, nearly back at my house and I get stuck at a traffic light with a line of cars so far back that I can't even see the traffic light. Fortunately, I know the area moderately well and so I make a quick left turn and through the community I go. I take all the right side streets and stop at all the stop signs along the way and a few minutes later I arrive at my destination. The interesting thing is that in the amount of time it took me to go through the community, it probably would have taken me less time to simply wait at the traffic light. So why did it feel so much better to drive through the community than to wait at the traffic light? The answer is simple because I wasn't waiting. Waiting is something that we have grown to find as an annoyance, especially in American culture where instant gratification is king.

God has something to say about waiting though. He says those who wait upon the Lord will inherit the Earth (Psalm 37:9). He also says that if we wait upon Him that he will strengthen our heart (Psalm 27:14). We are called to wait upon the Lord, but what does that mean in our own lives? What does it look like to wait upon the Lord?

Recently, I have been struggling to find a full-time position in camping ministry. I have been doing it for a number of years now and have unfortunately been unable to come up with anything other than seasonal work. It can be frustrating and discouraging at times, but the one thing that gets me through it is God pushing me on to follow Him. I'm currently in a season of my life where I'm very unsure of my next step and so I've been trying to fill in the next step anyway I possibly can. It feels very much like I am stuck in traffic, despite having urgent things to do. I want to rush God's plan for my life and yet God wants me to wait and continues to say not yet.

Have you ever thought about why God wants us to wait? The obvious answer here is so that we will appreciate it more when we finally get it. We see this example all the time with children who are told that they have to wait and save up money to buy something and when they finally do, they cling to that as their most prized possession. We also see however another answer to this question. God wants us to wait, because we don't always know the true desires of our heart. How many times have you seen something in the mall and decided to wait to buy it only to find later that you didn't want it anyway? Or how many times have you bought something only to find that a week later you are no longer using it and it begins to collect dust till your next yard sale? Waiting is a gift from God. Sure it doesn't feel like it, but it is. He wants us to rely on Him, to wait on Him, to confidently go in the direction that he wants us to go. If that means waiting in traffic along the way then we wait. There is hope though. No matter how bad the traffic is, it always clears up.

My thing

So I have this thing about my DVD collection. Those who know me can attest to this. Each DVD must be in alphabetical order and must be facing the correct direction at all times. If any DVD is out of place, I know it. If they are turned in a direction that is not what it is supposed to be, I know it. Every now and then after I've purchased several more movies I will spend an hour or more reorganizing the DVD collection to ensure that it is in alphabetical order once more. To most it seems rather amusing, sometimes obsessive, and other times just plain weird. It does make perfect sense however.



You see, I work in camping ministry where on a daily basis I'm met with new obstacles in a seemingly haphazard manner. There are days where everything runs smoothly, but we normally call those the weekend. I have to compensate for things that were unforeseen such as a peanut allergy or a group of disrespectful kids who know exactly what buttons to push. There are a million things that go through my head in a given day and very little of it is in my hands. I continue to go through my job knowing that I have no control over anything. As I go to the services and I give my devotion to the students or campers, I'm filled with a sense of powerlessness. I know that without God, there is nothing that I can say or do to control how these kids respond to the message that I have for them. I'm left at the end of the day feeling out of control and worn out. I sit down and began organizing my DVD collection, I have my one thing that I have control over.



Our lives are filled with moments where we are without any control. We search for some way to restore order to our lives; to take back some sort of control. I believe if most people are honest, they have something that they do to try and have at least some sort of control. It may be the controlling of what you watch, or what you eat. Maybe it is a little more harmful in the means of controlling others. We all do it though. We all have some thing that we do, that helps to give us back some sort of stability.



Recently I was turned down for another camp director position. I was very close to getting it, but when it came down to me and another person, they went with the other person. Again, I was without control. I know that God has a plan for it. He always does. I also know that knowing that, doesn't really help matters. I'm still without a full-time job and in just a couple months, I'll be without a way of supporting myself. I am not in control. It is frustrating and leaves me feeling vulnerable and directionless. Despite, the qualifications that I have and the experience that I have gained, I am left wondering at my career choice and if I should move on to something else, something where I can feel a little more in control. My mind then races through many options and possible decisions but I'm left without anything more than I had before. I look through possibilities and entertain ideas of what I could do and all of them seem possible and at the same time none of them do. So at the end of the day, I go back and organize my DVD collection. I take back just a little bit of control, just enough so that I can let go and say, "God, You are in Control."

I crave you undiluted

The other day I was listening to Skillet on my iPod while I was working when I heard the line "I crave you undiluted". When I heard the line I was completely taken aback by it. It is such a cool thought and one of those things that really makes you stop and think about what you should do with that. At the end of the day I did my normal routine of climbing and coming back I saw a beautiful sunset that reminded me again of those lyrics. I looked out on the beautiful colors swirling above the horizon. The thousands of shades of red and pink and orange mingled with spots of blue and purple. Then I began thinking of the one who created all that; He is the one that is drunk with love for me yet do I really crave Him undiluted?

Craving God is not something I would describe as a daily occurence for me. I mean sure there are days where I am on fire for God and absolutely content within His presence. There are other days where I am desperate to be next to Him and to feel Him near me, but to say that I crave God everyday would most likely be a lie. How can we possibly go from realizing that God created this beautiful creation to not even thinking about Him? We seem to be such a fickle people where we desire God one second and with the same breath we think only about ourselves.

The thing is, there is no wonder that we are like this. Yes it has to do with our sinful nature but its more than that. We put these characteristics on God that take away from His character. We look at Him as this judge who keeps us in check. All of us are aware that Jesus died for us once and for all but secretly we are convinced that we are unclean and unable to come before Him. We've heard of God's love yet we diminish it to a shallow conditional love. We are made free from sin and death by the blood of Christ but are quick to condemn each other for our shortcomings. Our misconceptions and human logic have trapped God in a dogmatic set of rules that have lost the original purpose of the Gospel. We almost get bored with God. The one who created joy, excitement and passion is the same one that we get bored with. We have defined God's character as fitting into a certain mold and thus we get burnt out or simply disinterested. We miss the beauty of Christ and the illogical and reckless Grace given to us by God the Father. We should be shouting from the rooftops God's praises. The sun torches the sky in the evenings and mornings to praise God's name. All of creation is shouting together because they don't attach things to God. They are always reminded of the fact that God has given us breath. If we are to follow Christ then we must first learn to separate what we have been told and what is true about God. We must not settle for a diluted, blurry view of God. We must crave God undiluted.

Radical Change

Looking back over my life, I notice something that is so glaringly obvious that I have to accept it and embrace it. I have become something new. Much like Jesus said, "The old is gone and the new has come." I was once something different than I am now. The change is a very stark contrast. At one point, my life dwelt only on me and how I could possibly gain recognition or how I could be better than others. Even in my spiritual life I was always competing with others and trying to make myself better than others. It wasn't about having a better relationship with God it was about seeming to have a better relationship than everyone else.

This thinking came up the other day when I was listening to Fireflight's new CD and I came across the lyrics, "I wish you could see me before the change. You'd see a broken heart, you'd see the battle scars." It's amazing to think at how far I've come and how I really can't go back to what I was nor would I want to. Whenever I met someone who actually understood what it meant to love God, I would normally become distant or try to come up with something that made me better than them at least in my own eyes. I had an inflated opinion of myself and because of that, the song really spoke to me. I sat there thinking about how I had hurt or offended others and in the process hurt myself. I tried to be better on my own and appear to be spiritual when really I was still struggling along with everyone else and muddling through my spiritual walk as an infant.

During college the change in my life began. I began understanding what loving God meant. I began to understand what I was supposed to be living for and what really mattered. Of course this was not of my own doing but rather God's doing. He caused the change in my life in a way that I could not possibly take credit for it. Through my circumstances I've been able to see God's hand move me gently along His path for me. It is a rather comforting experience and thought to know that God actually cares about my life and that He has a plan for it. The one who spoke the universe into existence actually loves me. Now that I'm confident of this change and aware of it I have live it out. If I were to go back to my sinful nature I'd be something that I'm not. As Paul says I was once a slave to sin but then died to that and become a new creation in Christ. I believe that is this change that we must show the world if we want to really love others. It is this change that will set the world free.

Traitorous Heart

In reading from Three Cups of Tea, I am faced with the reality of my own depravity. I am made aware of a problem that our culture has allowed itself to view as perfectly ordinary. I've seen it in my life and countless lives around me. We are cursed with a traitorous heart. How many times have you been spurred on to believe in something or do something only to find that your resolve wears away in a month? My own resolve often lasts only a week maybe two unless it is something that I am constantly around and exposed to.

On my first trip to Ethiopia, I was blown away by the impoverished people of the towns there. While I was there I felt powerless and yet at the same time, full of the knowledge that I could help them. I ate with them and talked with them. I was invited into their homes and treated better than family. As I returned home I knew that I needed to go back and do something more. I needed to give of myself and to do something more for these people that I had grown to love so much. Within a month of returning I resolved to return to Ethiopia and made plans for my next trip.

Over the next year I would think of Ethiopia on occasion. I thought of things I could do there to be there full-time. I dreamt about ways that I could raise money to make an impact in the lives of those who had touched mine. Despite all this I made little effort to really do anything about those plans. I continued to live as I always have and did little to really see those plans come to fruition.

Upon returning to Ethiopia, much of my original resolve was gone. The love that I experienced there was still as great as ever but being there reminded me of all the things that I wanted to do and how little I had done to accomplish them. I met with a man who had moved to Ethiopia and who was in the process of creating a business to help the prostitutes find real employment. This business he hopes will eventually help to build a farm in a town called Sendafa which will provide food and jobs to hundreds of people. I returned to America with a strong desire to help him in his efforts. I began brainstorming ideas that would help him raise the funds that he would need to build this farm. Now it has been nearly three months since I returned to America and I have done little to follow through. I have often comforted myself with the thought that I am myself looking for funding to stay in camping ministry. I make myself feel better by claiming that once I have a more firm footing on my own life, I will be able to do something for those in Ethiopia.

Reading through the remarkable story of Greg Mortenson, I realize that there is a distinct difference between him and me. He has kept his resolve. Upon leaving the summit attempt on K2 and returning to America, he became very intentional about his purpose. He did not allow his heart to lose its resolve. When he left the Karakoram he knew that he must do this. It wasn't a matter of dreaming or thinking of ideas, it was a matter of doing everything possible to accomplish it whatever that meant. He did not look at it as something he could do or a cool idea that he might be able to do eventually in the future. He looked at it as something that he had to do. It never occurred to him that he didn't have to do it. It was as essential to his life plan as finding food for the next day. He is far from the only person that has this mentality. Bruce Olsen, author of Bruchko and missionary to the Motilone tribe in Columbia, left his home to serve God as a missionary. It wasn't an option not to do it. This was something that he had to do. The list goes on. There are people who have stood up, who have not backed down and have not taken the easy road.

I envy their resolve. Their steadfastness and assurance of their responsibility. They were able to give their heart fully to what they were doing. My own heart is for more traitorous. It stops short of action far too often and loses its will. Imagine what this world would be like if each of us were able to tame our traitorous heart. If we could learn to keep our resolve and stay committed to changing the world, we would be able to live as Christ wanted us to. We must learn to set aside our fear and tame our traitorous heart that we might keep our resolve and be the change in the world that Christ made us to be.

The arrival of the birds.

I was laying in bed the other day waiting for my alarm to go off. I do this often, as I am about the furthest thing from a morning person possible. I typically try to stay asleep as long as I possibly can. This morning I noticed something different however. Outside my window I could hear the chirping of all kinds of birds. As I lay there, I could hear the hammer-like noise of the woodpecker and the soft chirping of song birds. It struck me as odd for a moment. I didn't remember waking up to birds any other time that week. In fact in the last several months I could not for the life of me remember waking up to the chirping of birds. At first I thought that I had overslept but soon realized that my alarm was set to go off in another 40 min.

The birds signified the first sign of spring. Their arrival warranted the attention of warm weather and a beautiful shining sun. With the warmer air and the added light provided by the sun the snow began to melt away revealing a greenish brown on the ground. The first colors aside from white that we've seen in at least a month. Everyone's energy level increased and seemed to cheer everyone up from their wintery complacency.

Looking back over my life I can't remember ever noticing the day that birds would make their spring appearance so suddenly. I've certainly never been aware of the sharp contrast between a day without birds chirping to a day with birds chirping. It was kind of beautiful and at the same time a great moment for reflection. Those birds know inside them it was time to awake. They knew, not because of the weatherman or because of the calendar that told them when to start singing. They knew because something inherit in their nature told them it was time to start busying themselves with their purpose.

With the start of this new season we will see all sorts of life. Animals will shake off winter's chill and go in search of food. Plants will begin to bring forth new beauties and every leaf formed will be unique and have a certain purpose. Again all these things know to do this because of something inside them that compels them, that this is what they were made for. With spring coming we must begin to realize that it is the same with us. From deep within, there is something that calls to us, telling us that we were made for something more. It is time for us to leave the slumber of our apathy and the inadequacy of our perceived abilities. it is time for us to come awake in His power. As the David Crowder Band puts it:

Come Awake from sleep. Arise.
You were dead
You've come alive
Wake up wake up
Open your eyes
Climb from your grave
Into the light

Bring us back to life

It is Finished

Yesterday I spent a good amount of time cleaning around the house and getting my massive pile of laundry done. As I folded up the last piece of laundry and put it away I felt almost bittersweet. You see as much time as I had spent cleaning and doing laundry I was uncomfortably aware of the fact that it would not last. It got me thinking about it though. I love when I complete something, when I can look at something and say that I'm done. Something that I have to constantly work at and strive towards can often irritate me or drive me to boredom. For instance when I go climbing I typically will do a route until I can get it, until I can say that I successfully climbed it. When I can't get a climb though I'll spend the majority of my time there working on that one climb. If I don't get it that trip, then I'll think about it constantly afterward. I am obsessed with finishing things.

I don't think I'm alone in this though. We are always obsessed with being finished. Most of America looks forward to retirement because it signifies the end of work. We put away money for that time so that we won't have to work. All the years that we've put in up to that point are for that purpose, being finished. We dislike having to constantly work at something. We see this in our society all the time when someone is paying bills. Those who own homes often have a mortgage hanging over their heads, they keep hoping to have it paid off and to be finished paying for it. Buying smaller things often make us feel better temporarily because we own it right then and there. We have paid all the money that we need to pay on it and are now finished. It seems to be something deep inside us though that stirs us on to being finished.

I believe that it is very significantly related to the fact that we are broken inside. We have for so long known that we are sinners and that our soul was meant for more than that. We were meant to be in the image of Christ. We were meant to be something different and because of that our souls have been working tirelessly to rectify the problem. Our deepest desire is to be finished, to be done fixing ourselves and finally back to what we were supposed to be in the first place. We are tired of fighting with ourselves and trying to get ourselves to do things or think things that we should and to stop ourselves from things we know we should not be doing. The thing is we will never be finished, we will always be working towards it but never actually reaching completion. It is no wonder that people turn from God. We blame Him for this constant state of turmoil within us. We hold Him responsible for the fact that we have to keep working. The dilemma is that all of our work and strife is for nothing unless we turn to Christ. In Philippians 1:6, He promises to complete the work that He has started in us. We must stop striving to be better and to surrender to the will of Christ. For it is He alone that can say "It Is Finished".

A Psalm of Praise

Your beauty is beyond compare

It is magnified throughout the Earth.

That which covers the Earth gives you praise

How majestic is your Glory

Your overwhelming love surrounds me

My breath is taken away by your splendor

How awesome it is to experience your grace.

Your artful strokes are displayed for all to see.

As I look out among the fields

I see only beauty, as though a master painter has been hard at work

The colors mix together with such emotion

It is as though it works together to bring you praise

As I stand here with the gentle stillness of the moment

I am taken aback by thought of you.

Your fierce love encompasses all of me

Leaving me vulnerable yet content

All around me the snow falls gently to the ground

The soft silence as each flake hits the ground

Goes unnoticed by all except you

You gently guide each flake as it descends

Your wondrous presence is unavoidable

It is shown through every aspect of creation

From the smallest flake of snow to the highest mountain

I’m caught up in your glory, Hosanna to the highest

So often the Psalmist was speechless

I understand now his thoughts

His inability to shout anything but praise

A glimpse of you is enough to lose oneself in the moment

Being a Good Steward

As I was driving to my neighborhood gas station the other day, I started thinking about how little time to myself I've really had over the last couple weeks. We've been pretty busy at the ranch and when we have off a lot of us end up hanging out for the rest of the day. While I love hanging out with people and getting to know them, I've noticed that I really do need some time of my own to just relax and rest in God, just as Jesus used to go off in solitude, I find the same desire in myself. Here is the problem though. Its not that I haven't had time to myself, I have. Its not even the fact that I haven't had the quantity of time to myself that I would need, I have. The problem is with the fact that I have been a poor steward of that time.

When I have time to myself I tend to waste it on things like video games or sitting on facebook or something like that. I rarely spend it truly resting. That is not to say that those are bad or even not forms of resting, but when I rest I need to be better at understanding what I need to gain rest. Sometimes you need to have those days of simply sitting on the couch and doing absolutely nothing. Other days you need to spend your time alone going on a hike or a bike ride. Either way you have to be intentional about doing what it is that your body really needs. We often do things because it is the thing that is easiest to do, but a lot of the time it ends up just making us more tired and feeling as though we haven't rested. After thinking about this and spending time by myself in a way that allows me to actually rest. Rest is a beautiful thing when done properly. It makes you more energetic and more amiable. I know that during the time when I wasn't really spending time by myself to help me rest I was a little irritable and felt drained most of the time. Now I'm feeling much better and feel ready to do whatever it is that I need to do. We must always be aware of how we are feeling as it affects everyone around us, that is why rest is so vital to our lives.

The Gospel is alive.

As I stroll through Sendafa, I'm greeted by many hungry, poverty stricken faces. All of which have a huge grin and an out-stretched hand. I take the hand and say hello in one of the few Amharic words that I've learned. As I stand there a small crowd of children begins to form, everyone saying hello and asking me my name. I respond to them, "Sime Ryan no." They giggle a little bit at my clearly poor Amharic and all respond with their names. I say the names about 3 or 4 times each, every time getting further and further from the correct pronunciation, but they don't mind. One of the older boys knows a little bit of English and we start up a conversation. He asks me where I'm from, I say America, to which several of the kids ask if I can take them with me. I explain that I cannot to which there is little complaining, except in my own heart. I stand there talking for a while and taking photos and showing them their photos to which there is a great amount of excitement.

I notice that the rest of my team have already moved on, and I'm left alone with my entourage of kids. I motion to them that I need to go towards the rest of my group but they are welcome to come with me. So I begin to walk through the dust-filled streets of Sendafa with a crowd of children all anxiously trying to grab my hand. I wave to a few other shop keepers and people along the streets, they wave back with a smile. I begin trying to think of a deep spiritual parallel to the situation. Yet I'm taken aback by the moment. Here I am trying to relate this to something when the most important thing is to simply be with them. Simply being with them should be enough of a lesson in love than anything else. This line of thought though takes me to Jesus walking the streets and allowing the children to come to Him. People often begged Jesus to heal them or for some sort of help and He always provided what they needed. Here I am, a man walking through Sendafa with very little and certainly not able to give what these kids need to truly be provided for. I am helpless, all I can do is simply tell them a few phrases that God is good and that I'm glad to have met them. Despite all that, they continue to walk with me and keep me company. My time with them reminds me of God providing for every need and that without Him we are helpless. Their smiles display God's compassion and love, and their faces mirror God's as he looks in wonderment at His creation.

I can do all things through whom?

Sitting in the home of Abarash-Hale, I simply talk with her through the aid of my translator Agretu. She has lived in Sendafa for 13 years, she moved here from the southern part of Ethiopia in the attempts to better her life. She is the mother of 5 sons and 1 daughter, three of which have progressed through school quite a bit and have learned a good deal of English. The home we are sitting in is clearly one of the wealthier homes here as it has furniture and several small electronics. By our standards however, the dirt floor, mud walls, and tin roof and door would of course be considered intense poverty.

I talk with her children, who while a little shy allow me to learn more about them and their lives. The older son leads the youth group at church and has been studying hard in school. His brother and sister are both in the choir at church and all three have made it to at least 10th grade, the daughter has actually reached 12th grade which is quite the accomplishment in this town. Our time with them is relaxed and enjoyable. We ask them how we can pray for them and they tell us several things. They want success in their education in combination with a life transformation so that they can be a blessing to Sendafa, to Ethiopia and to the world.

I begin to think about that statement. They want to be a blessing to the world. Not just their country or even continent, but the entire world. They want God to give them the strength to do so. they are relying on him to achieve this through them, not their own abilities or circumstances. I'm surprised by my reaction because it is one of an almost patronizing skepticism. I know in my heart that they can't rise out of their poverty and affect the world.

Now I have always had similar aspirations. I know that I can affect the world. That I can somehow reach others and make a difference. The reason why however is because I know what I'm capable of. I know the abilities that I have, the opportunities that I've been given and the advantages that are inherent in my life. Throughout my life, I've always known my limitations. I've been able to accurately predict whether or not I will succeed at something. The problem in all of this is that I'm relying on myself. I'm relying on my own circumstances and abilities to change the world. In doing this I am limiting God in his ability to work through me. If I rely on my own strength then I will never be able to do the things that God can do through me if I merely step out of my comfort zone.

I'm reminded of my last trip here when I came away feeling as though I were the "least of these" in a spiritual sense. That my knowledge and understanding of God was childish in comparison to those who know God here. Abarash's family may not have the opportunities that I have or the abilities that I have been blessed with, but they have already succeeded in their goal of being a blessing to the world. Now I know that with their hearts relying on God for their strength, they will continue to be a blessing to the world. It is my turn to now follow their example and not allow my own abilities to limit God's work in my life.

Content?

I typically would describe myself as content in what God has given me. I was challenged recently however to really look at that and see if I'm content because God is in my life and has filled all my needs or if I'm content because I have all the things that I need. I was in D.C. recently and was overwhelmed by the homelessness there. They were in utter despair everywhere I went. It was a cold night and they were bundled up in the doorways trying to stay warm in the midst of one of the coldest nights of the week. I gave what I could but it was clearly not enough. I couldn't imagine what they must go through being in this cold every day from not having a warm bed to being unable to getting a hot shower and curling up on the couch for the night. It was just a humble experience and made me thankful for what I have.

Just a few days later I was back at the Ranch and was about to take a shower when I realized that we had no running water. I was a little stunned at first not having something that I've had for so long. As the day wore on, the inability to have running water began to annoy me tremendously. I was upset that I had to go without a shower and had to search all around the ranch just for a working bathroom. It wasn't more than a week since I had been in D.C. surrounded by the homeless there and in just over a week I'll be on my way to Ethiopia, the second poorest country in the world where most people there have no access to a bathroom and certainly not running water. I was relieved later that night when the water was fixed and I was saved from this annoyance.

The next morning we discussed Phillipians 4:10-19 where Paul is talking to the church at Phillipi about how he is able to be content in his circumstances and to be able to feel hunger and plenty and remain content in Christ regardless. It was a definite shock to my system. I was left thinking about how my peace rested on the comforts that I take for granted. I don't think I had ever thought about not having certain luxuries before. The good thing about this however is that it afforded me the opportunity to reflect upon it and change the true foundations of my peace so that I can truly be content in Christ.