Catching my breath only to lose it

Can you remember the last time you had your breath taken away?  Perhaps you were peering out over the Grand Canyon and experiencing the grandeur and majesty of it.  Since it is close to Christmas, perhaps you saw a spectacular light display that just amazed you.  Maybe your church service was so moving that it simply took your breath away.  All of these moments move us in some way that we can't explain.  It moves us beyond words and we simply appreciate the moment.  One of these moments that come to mind was while I was on the 7th floor of the Semien Hotel in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia.  Looking out over the sunrise and being so caught up in the moment, it was simply breathtaking.

But think about that moment a little more and think about how you were so overwhelming happy and satisfied that you forgot to breathe.  Or maybe it isn't so much that you forgot to breathe, but rather you held your breath hoping to stay in that moment forever.  If you could simply hold your breath, it seemed, the entire world would standstill, time would stop, and this moment would never leave.  These kind of moments are the things that you live for.  Just being so lost in the beauty of the moment that you can't see anything else.  The movie Hitch says something to the effect that life is not measured in the breaths that you take, but rather the moments that take your breath away.  There is a lot of truth in that statement.  I believe firmly that when I look back on my life, these are the moments that I will remember.  The moments where my breath was taken away and I was simply content to stay in that moment.

This leads me to my next question though:  When was the last time that God took your breath away?  Were you moved beyond words by His character or love?  In your quiet time, sitting by yourself, praying to God, have you seen God's awesome majesty and been so wrapped up in it that you feel this peace just flow through you?  These moments where God reveals part of Himself to you should be cherished.  It gives the greatest opportunity for growth and maturity, but moreover it gives us the chance to experience God's presence in our lives.  It is that tangible feeling in our hearts that allows us to see God and simply bow in adoration of Him.

I bring this up, because God has become to me completely breathtaking.  Through His beauty, love and grace, He has completely captivated me.  The more I learn who He is and the closer I draw to Him, the more I sit in awe and wonder of God.  During this first semester of Seminary, I was absolutely blown away by the heart of God.  It was so much to take in that I just wanted to sit in that moment and never leave it.  It is only now that I'm beginning to catch my breath.  Yet even while I breathe in and process the semester, I catch glimpses of God that leave me at a loss for words.   I"m mesmerized by His love and moved into quiet contemplation and active devotion.  Thomas Aquinas was once asked to continue writing his Summa Theologica, to which he replied he could not for he had caught a glimpse of God and considered all his previous work to be as straw.  So taken by God, he could no longer find the words to express it.  I wish all of God's people could experience God like this.  Imagine what this world would be like if each person were so captivated by God, so entranced by who He is and the work that He is doing that the only reasonable thing they could think to do was to offer themselves fully to God.  May each of us gaze upon the breathtaking God and be moved to deeper love for Him and His people.  May we live in the moments that God takes our breath away.

I'll play my best for Him

If you've read my blog for long, you know that I am pretty open and honest on here with my shortcomings and failures so that others and myself can grow from them.  That being said, the next line here may sound heretical to many and so I will ask your patience with me in dealing with my shortcomings.  I don't like Christmas music.  I would say it probably comes from the overplaying of the Christmas songs and that I can't seem to get away from them.  Having said that, there is a Christmas song that I absolutely love (along with a few others and most remade songs).  The song is "The Little Drummer Boy."  The reason I love this song is because it is precisely the response we should have at Christmas and indeed at all times.

The song starts out with the little drummer boy hearing about the birth of Jesus and is invited to bring a gift before Him.  Many around him are bringing fine and expensive gifts, but the young boy has nothing to bring.  All he has is his drum.  I like to think that this drum is probably worn down and beaten up a bit.  I also imagine that the drummer boy himself, while getting better, is still just a novice and is still getting used to playing the drum.  He probably misses the beat occasionally, but it is something that he loves to do.  It grieves the drummer boy that he can't offer anything to Jesus on the same magnitude of these great kings and wise men who are offering lavish gifts.  Then it occurs to him to play for Jesus.  He knows that he isn't the best drummer and that his drum isn't even the top of the line drum, but he knows that this is the greatest gift that he can offer and so he does it with all his heart.

I think that I relate to this well.  When I sit before God in my quiet time, I feel very much like the drummer boy.  It is as though I have nothing to offer God.  I sit there grasping at straws thinking about what I can offer the almighty God who created the world.  In this time, I can see the gifts of gold and beauty offered to God by others and I'm humbled by my own meager offerings.  It is here though that the line rings out, "I played my best for him."  I see my heart and how it yearns to give a greater gift before God.  I echo David's cry "Who am I ... that you have brought me thus far."  I stop comparing my gifts with others.  I take time to simply come and lay my offering before Jesus with my whole heart.  I begin to play my best for Him not thinking of anything else and giving my sole devotion to Him.

Many of us wish that we could offer something else to God.  We want to be better at evangelism or maybe better at speaking in front of people.  We beat ourselves up for not being able to give more.  We focus so often on the things that we aren't doing, that we forget to focus on the things that we are.  This is not to say that a desire for greater evangelism or deeper surrender is not good or that it shouldn't be pursued, but that in the things that we already do, that we will offer them in complete adoration of God.  That our hearts will be completely devoted to God and that we will mimic the drummer boy and play our best for Him.  This Christmas season and indeed after, I encourage all of us to realize that God knows us, He sees our heart and He smiles at our offering before Him.  He loves us, cherishes us, and relishes our offerings to Him when they are given out of love for Him.  May we simply play our best for Him.

Tell his story

I had assumed the relaxation position.  I had an ice cold mountain dew sitting on the coffee table next to me and I was reclining on the sofa with the remote control in my hand.  As I began flipping through the channels, I realized quickly that my laziness was missing just one thing, something to watch on TV.  Finally, I decided to watch Happy Feet.  I've always thought it was one of those movies that I could take or leave.  Not particularly a movie I would just put in and watch, but still a movie that I can at least sit through.  I turned to it right around the scene where the main character Mumbo is making his trek to the coast to figure out what has happened to the fish.  He quickly discovers that the humans are responsible for disrupting the food chain and have taken away all the fish.  Having vowed to save his fellow penguins from starvation, he makes the ultimate sacrifice, he dives off a cliff and follows the fishing boat to stop them from taking the fish.

Now right around this point is where I started to notice my throat begin to clench and moisture begin to appear near my eyes... yes I was beginning to tear up.  I started thinking about it and how he didn't know if he would return or if any of his efforts would have any impact, but he knew that he had to do something, anything.  He told the other penguins to tell his family goodbye and that he had done all that he could.  Then he really did all that he could and followed the boat until he washed up on shore completely exhausted and near death.  Lovelace, one of the other penguins, shouts in a loud booming voice after him, that he would be telling his story long after Mumbo is dead and gone.

The moral of the story is the sacrifice that Mumbo shows through his actions.  He chooses to sacrifice himself so that the colony of penguins can survive, despite the fact that they rejected him for being different.  Now sure, this a kids movie and please don't take this as an assault to your intelligence, I just feel that we could learn a lot from it.  This is the same kind of sacrifice that Jesus showed us.  He gave up his life so that we may have life abundantly.  He chose to give us his life despite our first condemning Him.  Whenever I see that kind of sacrifice, something deep within me wells up inside and pushes me towards a desire for greater surrender.

The title of this blog is "Longing for Passionate Surrender."  The Passionate Surrender that I'm talking about is the kind of surrender where you are so devoted to God that every part of your being shouts his praises.  It is the kind of surrender that denies self and seeks to lift up others.  It is the kind of surrender that seeks to change the world.  The kind of passion that is always seeking to bring glory to God.  Whether it be by bringing a meal to the homeless, doing your job with integrity, or speaking an encouraging word to someone.  It is about living every moment in step with the spirit of God, conforming to his will.  It is the surrender of every part of yourself to God's purposes.

Our call to surrender is one and the same as Lovelace's call in the story.  God sacrificed for us and gave us the opportunity to share in the work that he is active in doing.  He calls us to boldly proclaim the story of Christ.  To show others how Jesus has impacted our lives.  Paradoxically, we are to surrender ourselves so that we can have abundant life.   Proclaim boldly the message of Jesus.  Do it through your actions, your words and by who you are as a person.  May our message continue to repeat that Jesus IS Lord and may we never be too proud to accept the insights of a kids movie.

Lift your chains He holds the key

Someone once said, "Man is born free, but everywhere he lives in chains."  I've been thinking about this a lot lately and relating it to the context of our current culture and society.  Something seems to happen as we get older.  Instead of being free like we are when we're first born, we begin to let society throw its chains on us.  In fact this is why so many people leave the church or other institutions.  They often feel like they are being restricted or controlled and so they leave in the attempts to assert their freedom.  A brief look at history tells us that freedom is something that civilizations have cherished and desired for millennia.  There is something deep within us that tells us that we were meant to be free.  So how is it that we have lost our freedom?  Why are we living in chains?

Our definition of freedom has been lost.  Instead we have settled for a cheap mockery of it.  People long ago knew what freedom was.  They fought and died to give freedom to the slave, they fought and died to give freedom to a nation and we have cheapened it by making it into a do what feels good concept.  Society tells us that freedom comes from having no restraints.  Being able to do whatever we want whenever we want, that is what society calls freedom.  This is an impostor of real freedom.  We have been made to believe in this blatant lie.  Night after night people continue to try to satisfy those soul cravings that lie deep within.  They try to fill it with partying, drinking, drugs, etc.  The guilt weighs on them, anxiety continues to loom and the cycle starts over.  They're trapped in a vicious cycle, unable to break free.  All this in pursuit of freedom?  People claim to be free, but it is often a thinly veiled disguise to cover up the guilt, shame and anxiety that they really feel.  There is hope of real lasting freedom.  The freedom offered by Jesus Christ.

Paul says, "It is for freedom that you have been set free!" (Gal 5:1).  Many people don't know what to make of this statement.  They've always believed that the church is an organization bent on imposing its rule on others.  This is not the case, as Paul says, it is for freedom that we have been set free.  In fact, having faith in Christ is what gives real freedom.  It is the freedom to know that your sins are forgiven that God has made you and loves you and wants you to enjoy this world.  Jesus said, "I have come that you may have life and have it abundantly." (John 10:10).  He wants us to be free, to enjoy life, to take pleasure in His creation.  Why do we continue to insist on settling for the lies of society

There is a great song by Casting Crowns, called Set Me Free, that portrays a powerful image throughout.  It is a story of a man who has been weighed down with the world.  He has been wrapped in chains and he says, "Now I live among the dead".  He cries out to be set free.  He cries out hoping for some way to be rid of the chains that hold him down.  Screaming at the top of his lungs he calls out to God asking for freedom.  Jesus asks him, "Do you want to be free?  Lift your chains I hold the key."  It's such an accurate portrayal of so many people that I know, myself included.  We have been bogged down with anxieties and worries, with fears and doubts, and we are no longer free.  Our sins continue to weigh on us, trapping us in a cycle that we can't break free of.  The sinful desires that we once overpowered, now hold us in bondage and slavery fooling us into thinking that we are free.

It is time that we break out of this prison that we have been held in.  We must learn to passionately seek after the things on God's heart while ignoring the things that drive us away from it.  The further we are from His heart, the further we are from freedom.  I believe that it deeply grieves God to see His people trapped in sin, refusing to acknowledge that they are slaves.  It is heartbreaking to see people pursuing sinful desires trumpeting freedom.  We were meant for so much more than this.  It is for freedom that we have been set free.  The freedom to make a stand, to live without worry or anxiety, the freedom from shame and guilt, the freedom to live in pursuit of a glorious King who grants us life abundantly.  May we learn to break the chains holding us.  May we see the lies for what they are, that we may live a free life of devotion to God.  May we be set free from the worldly desires that ensnare us and the sins that enslave us.  May we lift our chains for He holds the key.