Radical Change

Looking back over my life, I notice something that is so glaringly obvious that I have to accept it and embrace it. I have become something new. Much like Jesus said, "The old is gone and the new has come." I was once something different than I am now. The change is a very stark contrast. At one point, my life dwelt only on me and how I could possibly gain recognition or how I could be better than others. Even in my spiritual life I was always competing with others and trying to make myself better than others. It wasn't about having a better relationship with God it was about seeming to have a better relationship than everyone else.

This thinking came up the other day when I was listening to Fireflight's new CD and I came across the lyrics, "I wish you could see me before the change. You'd see a broken heart, you'd see the battle scars." It's amazing to think at how far I've come and how I really can't go back to what I was nor would I want to. Whenever I met someone who actually understood what it meant to love God, I would normally become distant or try to come up with something that made me better than them at least in my own eyes. I had an inflated opinion of myself and because of that, the song really spoke to me. I sat there thinking about how I had hurt or offended others and in the process hurt myself. I tried to be better on my own and appear to be spiritual when really I was still struggling along with everyone else and muddling through my spiritual walk as an infant.

During college the change in my life began. I began understanding what loving God meant. I began to understand what I was supposed to be living for and what really mattered. Of course this was not of my own doing but rather God's doing. He caused the change in my life in a way that I could not possibly take credit for it. Through my circumstances I've been able to see God's hand move me gently along His path for me. It is a rather comforting experience and thought to know that God actually cares about my life and that He has a plan for it. The one who spoke the universe into existence actually loves me. Now that I'm confident of this change and aware of it I have live it out. If I were to go back to my sinful nature I'd be something that I'm not. As Paul says I was once a slave to sin but then died to that and become a new creation in Christ. I believe that is this change that we must show the world if we want to really love others. It is this change that will set the world free.