The other day I had one of the best conversations I've had with anyone in a long time. In talking with my friend we talked a lot about spirituality and some pretty weighty subjects. Something kind of hit me during the conversation that really struck a chord with what I was feeling the few weeks leading up to that. I had been like a Pharisee from the New Testament. In my dealings with other Christians I often think to myself how much more spiritual I am than them or how I'm more disciplined or mature in certain areas than them. This arrogance and pride is the furthest thing from what God desires. Its the same arrogance that spurred Jesus on to make statements against them like they are a brood of vipers. Despite the fact that they followed the law and were not among the "sinners" they were the ones criticized by Christ and harshly admonished by Him.
In addition to this I often find myself getting mad at those who claim that there is no God. Instead of looking at them with compassion as Christ did, I look at them with scorn. I don't take the time to relate the gospel to them I merely counter their arguments and ridicule them for their unbelief, while I sit on my throne of self-righteousness. If my words are merely telling others that they are wrong then I'm not conveying the gospel at all. We must share the Truth with Grace or else we just simply become like the Pharisees and look down on those who do no believe or we become defensive and back into our own shelters or Christian bubbles. We must not be ashamed of the Gospel. If we look upon the world with scorn then we are still not looking on it the way Christ looks at it. He sees the corruption and the brokenness of the world and has compassion and feels sorrow. We should do the same. We should be in constant prayer to soften the hearts of those who do no believe. Our actions should be filled with compassion and Grace.
Monday, December 28, 2009
Monday, December 7, 2009
Radical Transformation
About a week ago, a van went through the front door of my house. The car nearly killed me as I had been walking in and out of that same door several times. The house was and is severely damaged due to the impact and the fact that the car remained on when it was in the house lead to the entire house filling with smoke and causing everything to smell like burnt rubber. It was a brutal experience in which something that was far out of our control drastically changed our circumstances. Yet something amazing happened and it had happened far before this. My family had been radically transformed into a godly household. This incident clearly shook all of us up quite a bit, but we did not get angry or bitter by it. Rather the contrary my family has done its best to show love to the family of the boy who hit the house and to the boy himself. Instead of becoming bitter at our circumstance we have taken this time to serve as a witness of Christ's love and compassion. We have had many people comment on how they don't understand how we can be so calm about the situation, how we can possibly be so forgiving so quickly. My parents simply reply that they are grateful and understand that things could have been worse.
I am truly amazed at my parents and how they have handled the situation. This incident will certainly be a major part of the very near future and will impact many things for a long time to come, yet through it all they maintain a wonderful knowledge of Grace and refuse to allow any bitterness come in. Now the question must be asked is this just their nature or is there something else behind it that is fueling this compassion? The answer is both. You see, there was a time that we certainly would not have handled the situation like this. We would have certainly been bitter and angry and would have thought only of ourselves. Christ's glory would be the furthest thing from our mind. At some point however, we began to give our lives to Christ more and more. It was not an overnight process, but a gradual one filled with struggles and vulnerability. Christ transformed our lives. He gave us a new life, one filled with the knowledge that His glory is to be the number one priority in our lives. Are we always mindful of that or focused on that? Absolutely not. We do however recognize a great change in our lives. We aren't the same and can't possibly go back to what we were.
This is the story of a Christian life. We were once something else. We were once sinners completely lost and need of a savior. God called us to Him and made us new in His image. He took the blame for our sins and paid our debt. In a manner of speaking we were once oranges. We lived as oranges do and were unable to be anything else. Then something happened, we were radically transformed into something else. We became apples. We were no longer the oranges that we were and no matter how hard we try we can never be oranges again. Sure we can act like oranges, but that doesn't change who we are. Eventually our inner character begins to show and it becomes apparent that we are apples. Before we accepted Christ we were sinners. We lived as sinners did and lead lives of sin. Then Christ came into our lives and changed us into those that He has deemed as righteous. Are we always righteous? No. We still sin and we still cling to what we once were, but with Christ we are no longer that. He has claimed us as His own and we can never be anything different than His children. That radical transformation in our lives is the evidence that Christ is in our lives.
I am truly amazed at my parents and how they have handled the situation. This incident will certainly be a major part of the very near future and will impact many things for a long time to come, yet through it all they maintain a wonderful knowledge of Grace and refuse to allow any bitterness come in. Now the question must be asked is this just their nature or is there something else behind it that is fueling this compassion? The answer is both. You see, there was a time that we certainly would not have handled the situation like this. We would have certainly been bitter and angry and would have thought only of ourselves. Christ's glory would be the furthest thing from our mind. At some point however, we began to give our lives to Christ more and more. It was not an overnight process, but a gradual one filled with struggles and vulnerability. Christ transformed our lives. He gave us a new life, one filled with the knowledge that His glory is to be the number one priority in our lives. Are we always mindful of that or focused on that? Absolutely not. We do however recognize a great change in our lives. We aren't the same and can't possibly go back to what we were.
This is the story of a Christian life. We were once something else. We were once sinners completely lost and need of a savior. God called us to Him and made us new in His image. He took the blame for our sins and paid our debt. In a manner of speaking we were once oranges. We lived as oranges do and were unable to be anything else. Then something happened, we were radically transformed into something else. We became apples. We were no longer the oranges that we were and no matter how hard we try we can never be oranges again. Sure we can act like oranges, but that doesn't change who we are. Eventually our inner character begins to show and it becomes apparent that we are apples. Before we accepted Christ we were sinners. We lived as sinners did and lead lives of sin. Then Christ came into our lives and changed us into those that He has deemed as righteous. Are we always righteous? No. We still sin and we still cling to what we once were, but with Christ we are no longer that. He has claimed us as His own and we can never be anything different than His children. That radical transformation in our lives is the evidence that Christ is in our lives.
Monday, November 23, 2009
Passion
Recently I spent a few days in Gettysburg with some of the other interns. While I was there I could not help but feel the passion that was evident in the people that fought and died there. On both sides of the war, they had this all encompassing passion that pushed them on through the tough times and the moments of hardship and despair. In the museum there are many letters from the lines, both to their loved ones and from their loved ones. These letters convey their earnest to do what is right and their unbridled desire to see it done. This passion that they had is something that has clearly been lost on this generation. Their lives were ruled by it and everything that they did displayed it for all to see. So what happened? Why after over a hundred years has this reckless passion disappeared? Why are we now ruled by an apathy that is as contagious as the passion that was once held by our forefathers and those in the civil war?
I think that one of the reasons is that we're afraid of passion. It is frightening and it makes people do crazy things. When you are passionate about something your mind tends to focus on just that and people think you're obsessed or even worse. Once you've tasted passion and seen its effects in your life you can't help but be passionate about everything else. God's stance on passion is pretty obvious as well. On several occasions Jesus says to leave everything and follow Him. He wants your entire focus to be on Him, not to be distracted by the worries of your day or the things that you have or even desire. He says at one point that you are neither Hot nor Cold so I will spit you out of my mouth. He doesn't want a lukewarm affection, He wants an unbridled, reckless love.
It is very easy to go through life without experiencing passion for something. It is passion however that can alter the entire shape of the world. I went to an event put on by World Vision and while I was there I read about a four year old girl who started a non-profit organization that sends thousands of toys to children in Africa. A four year old with a passion for serving others was able to change the world. Another story is that of the person who at the age of 16 started a movement entitled Loose change to loosen chains. He is now collecting money around the world to help free those still under slavery. His passion has altered the lives of hundreds of thousands of people. Can you imagine what this world would be like if each of us was passionate about serving God?
I know that in my life I have been in both places. I can tell from experience that being passionate is not easy. You tend to get burned by it, sometimes its hard and makes life even more difficult. There are times where you just want a break from it as it can be mentally, physically and emotionally draining. I can tell you also from experience that there is no other way to live life fully than to live passionately for Christ. So don't be afraid to be burned, or get hurt; don't be afraid to be thought crazy or a fool; don't back away when things get tough; stand up and passionately live your life for Christ.
I think that one of the reasons is that we're afraid of passion. It is frightening and it makes people do crazy things. When you are passionate about something your mind tends to focus on just that and people think you're obsessed or even worse. Once you've tasted passion and seen its effects in your life you can't help but be passionate about everything else. God's stance on passion is pretty obvious as well. On several occasions Jesus says to leave everything and follow Him. He wants your entire focus to be on Him, not to be distracted by the worries of your day or the things that you have or even desire. He says at one point that you are neither Hot nor Cold so I will spit you out of my mouth. He doesn't want a lukewarm affection, He wants an unbridled, reckless love.
It is very easy to go through life without experiencing passion for something. It is passion however that can alter the entire shape of the world. I went to an event put on by World Vision and while I was there I read about a four year old girl who started a non-profit organization that sends thousands of toys to children in Africa. A four year old with a passion for serving others was able to change the world. Another story is that of the person who at the age of 16 started a movement entitled Loose change to loosen chains. He is now collecting money around the world to help free those still under slavery. His passion has altered the lives of hundreds of thousands of people. Can you imagine what this world would be like if each of us was passionate about serving God?
I know that in my life I have been in both places. I can tell from experience that being passionate is not easy. You tend to get burned by it, sometimes its hard and makes life even more difficult. There are times where you just want a break from it as it can be mentally, physically and emotionally draining. I can tell you also from experience that there is no other way to live life fully than to live passionately for Christ. So don't be afraid to be burned, or get hurt; don't be afraid to be thought crazy or a fool; don't back away when things get tough; stand up and passionately live your life for Christ.
Monday, November 2, 2009
Uncompromising Trust
Today I was reading from Ruthless Trust and I came across a story about a monk that really made me stop and think. The monk was in prayer for many years asking God to bring him a spiritual mentor that could help him to become more like Christ. One day he had an internal feeling to go to the steps of the cathedral. There he met a beggar. He said to the beggar I hope that you have a good day and a happy life. The beggar responded that of course he would, but that he really didn't understand the monk. You see the beggar looked at every day as a gift from God, that every day was a blessing in and of itself. God created every day and it didn't matter what happened on any given day as it was still another day to praise God. On top of that our lives are in God's hands, when we surrender to a perfect trust in God we realize that every circumstance in our lives is for His glory. Everything is meant for Him, whether we see the purpose behind it or not. When we focus on how a circumstance affects us then we've missed the point completely. It is meant to be a blessing and a way for us to bring Him glory.
It kind of goes along with my devotion for today from At His Feet by Chris Tiegreen. In it Tiegreen is discussing Luke 17:7-10. Jesus is talking to the disciples about how a servant doesn't stop and take a break just because he has completed a task, he does all that the master requires of him. When the servant starts thinking about what he is going to gain from something or when his focus falls off of his master and onto himself, then the servant is doing everything for the wrong motives and is no longer serving the way he should. We often look at our tasks as something that we can do to sort of pay back God in a way, but that is not it at all. We are called to be obedient, we are called to trust in God's plan. The things that we do for God should not be looked at as some sort of task that makes us better Christians, but as a gift from God that allows us to bring glory to Him. When we are doing a task we should not think of it as something that will give us a reward, but when doing the task we should be thankful for simply having the opportunity to be doing that task.
It is a humbling thought though to realize that none of this is really about us. I mean yes God blesses us and takes pleasure in doing so, but when we get so focused on God blessing us, we miss out on everything else that He gives us. Just like this beggar who trusted that everything in his life was a gift from God and went through life trusting that God's perfect plan includes both the tough times and the good. The biggest thing we can learn from this is to remember that our focus should be God's glory not our own wants and desires. When we focus on ourselves we miss the points where God is blessing us in ways that we didn't realize before. I, therefore, urge you to keep your focus on God and not your own desires, because it just isn't about us anyway.
It kind of goes along with my devotion for today from At His Feet by Chris Tiegreen. In it Tiegreen is discussing Luke 17:7-10. Jesus is talking to the disciples about how a servant doesn't stop and take a break just because he has completed a task, he does all that the master requires of him. When the servant starts thinking about what he is going to gain from something or when his focus falls off of his master and onto himself, then the servant is doing everything for the wrong motives and is no longer serving the way he should. We often look at our tasks as something that we can do to sort of pay back God in a way, but that is not it at all. We are called to be obedient, we are called to trust in God's plan. The things that we do for God should not be looked at as some sort of task that makes us better Christians, but as a gift from God that allows us to bring glory to Him. When we are doing a task we should not think of it as something that will give us a reward, but when doing the task we should be thankful for simply having the opportunity to be doing that task.
It is a humbling thought though to realize that none of this is really about us. I mean yes God blesses us and takes pleasure in doing so, but when we get so focused on God blessing us, we miss out on everything else that He gives us. Just like this beggar who trusted that everything in his life was a gift from God and went through life trusting that God's perfect plan includes both the tough times and the good. The biggest thing we can learn from this is to remember that our focus should be God's glory not our own wants and desires. When we focus on ourselves we miss the points where God is blessing us in ways that we didn't realize before. I, therefore, urge you to keep your focus on God and not your own desires, because it just isn't about us anyway.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Homesick
My heart longs for it beyond anything.
I can feel the gentle yet firm pull on my soul.
The faces stare back at me pleading for something.
Their clothes tattered and torn, a shoe missing a sole.
The landscape as beautiful as the eyes staring back at me.
I pick up the rich soil and let it run through my hands.
I'm taken up in the moment as I look out and see
The multitude of people who outnumber the sands.
Struggling for something worthwhile to say
A few mumbling words manage to escape my lips
They smile, nod and affirm me in their own way.
My heart pounds, down my face the tear drips.
Such a love I do not know despite my deepest longing.
Awakened by my dream I am unable to stop singing.
Soon, I say, will I return to embrace and be embraced.
I will see again what they have struggled and faced.
I can feel the gentle yet firm pull on my soul.
The faces stare back at me pleading for something.
Their clothes tattered and torn, a shoe missing a sole.
The landscape as beautiful as the eyes staring back at me.
I pick up the rich soil and let it run through my hands.
I'm taken up in the moment as I look out and see
The multitude of people who outnumber the sands.
Struggling for something worthwhile to say
A few mumbling words manage to escape my lips
They smile, nod and affirm me in their own way.
My heart pounds, down my face the tear drips.
Such a love I do not know despite my deepest longing.
Awakened by my dream I am unable to stop singing.
Soon, I say, will I return to embrace and be embraced.
I will see again what they have struggled and faced.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Being a Servant
During the last week or so I have been struck by a verse in Phillipians. Phillipians 2:14 Do everything without complaining or arguing. It has been reinforced by one of the verses preceding it Phillipians 2:3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Those two verses have completely changed my thought process. Jesus came to Earth to be a servant to sinners. He came to be the lowliest of low. He was spit on, stoned, beaten, flogged, persecuted, and crucified. He did not argue or complain. He did none of these things to gain attention to himself. If he had wanted to, He could have done many more miraculous things including stepping off the cross, but He did what the Father wanted Him to do. I can't begin to tell of all the times that I've complained or argued with something that I just didn't see the logic in. The number of times where the authority in my life didn't make sense to me. What is worse, however, is I can't describe the number of times where I have tried to be a servant only so that I can draw attention to myself.
There was a point the other day where I had to do a few things that were rather difficult and were pretty labor intensive that nobody else had to do. I knew that if I simply said something about it, I would get sympathy and then I could shrug it off as nothing, when really all I wanted was attention. That is the furthest thing from being a servant, because the only thing I'm serving in that moment is myself. To be a servant we must take on the lowliest position whatever that is. Sometimes it is not the person handing out food at a homeless shelter, sometimes it is the person who is actually eating with the homeless, because in that moment you step down out of your comfort zone and cease to think about yourself. These verses have really hit home with me. I know that I still fail at this and still use times of serving to gain the approval of others, but I hope that with a constant reminder of these verses that I will be able to remember the true point of being a servant, that I will be able to do everything out of Love for God.
There was a point the other day where I had to do a few things that were rather difficult and were pretty labor intensive that nobody else had to do. I knew that if I simply said something about it, I would get sympathy and then I could shrug it off as nothing, when really all I wanted was attention. That is the furthest thing from being a servant, because the only thing I'm serving in that moment is myself. To be a servant we must take on the lowliest position whatever that is. Sometimes it is not the person handing out food at a homeless shelter, sometimes it is the person who is actually eating with the homeless, because in that moment you step down out of your comfort zone and cease to think about yourself. These verses have really hit home with me. I know that I still fail at this and still use times of serving to gain the approval of others, but I hope that with a constant reminder of these verses that I will be able to remember the true point of being a servant, that I will be able to do everything out of Love for God.
Pennies
Lately I've been cleaning a lot as part of the internship at River Valley Ranch. There is something that I always seem to come across during that time, pennies. These small coins are considered by many as completely worthless or even an annoyance. I heard a story several years ago about a person who was rather rich, but he would always pick up a penny when he saw it on the ground, because it has the words "In God We Trust" engraved on it. The main part of the story is the man telling someone that every time he picks up a penny he reevaluates how he is living his life and whether or not he is really trusting God in that moment. If he is, he thanks God and keeps the penny as a sign of God's promise. If he is not, he steps back, prays and gives everything over to God and then keeps the penny as a sign of his commitment to trusting God. He goes on to say that he is glad that God is patient and that pennies are plentiful.
As I said though, I have been finding many of these pennies and I'm constantly reminded of this story and have passed it along to many of the other interns. Its easy to think about the story and think, man that is cool. Its a different story entirely to live it out. I mean really trusting God with everything in my life. Every single issue that goes through my head. Its a daunting task. Logic will often scream to me that my trust makes no sense and that it will only result in hardship for me. My own desires continually block my ability to see that I need to be trusting in the sovereign God. I'm sure that I'm not alone in that. Full out trust in an invisible God can seem difficult and can even lead to frustration at times, but we must trust nonetheless. Just as the man in the story said, I'm glad that God is patient and that pennies are plentiful.
As I said though, I have been finding many of these pennies and I'm constantly reminded of this story and have passed it along to many of the other interns. Its easy to think about the story and think, man that is cool. Its a different story entirely to live it out. I mean really trusting God with everything in my life. Every single issue that goes through my head. Its a daunting task. Logic will often scream to me that my trust makes no sense and that it will only result in hardship for me. My own desires continually block my ability to see that I need to be trusting in the sovereign God. I'm sure that I'm not alone in that. Full out trust in an invisible God can seem difficult and can even lead to frustration at times, but we must trust nonetheless. Just as the man in the story said, I'm glad that God is patient and that pennies are plentiful.
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Second Chances
Sitting at a table with a good friend of mine we ae simply enjoying a lunch together. He asks me in a sort of casual way, "What is the biggest problem with the world that you see?"
The question of course catches me off guard but I've come to expect this from him and so I sit and think about it for a while. I begin thinking about what the problems of my generation seem to revolve around and I answer, "Apathy. It is the one thing that keeps us from action and even caring about the hurts and pains of others. Love becomes trivialized because of it and it changes us completely from what God intended us to be."
He nods his head and we talk for a little while longer about it. As we're speaking I see a man with a long scraggly beard and a baseball cap. Other than noticing him, nothing else registers. Fifteen minutes later I see him walk out of the Chick-Fil-A with several bags around him made of old shirts. He was a homeless man and I didn't even care enough to realize it. I beat myself up about it quite a bit the rest of the day and even the following day I had a conversation about it discussing my own hypocrisy with another good friend. This time as I'm talking with her, she points behind me and standing just a few short feet behind is the same man from the day before. I turn around, smile, then get up and walk over to him having absolutely no idea what I'm doing. I say to him "Would you like to have breakfast with us and can I get you anything?"
He humbly replies, "Sure let me set this stuff down."
We walk up to the counter and the previously friendly cashier suddenly seems much more stern and almost irritable. I pay for his meal and we sit down to eat. We talk for a while about his plans and where he is headed. He tells us about his life and shares with us his past. He mentions that he is trying to get to Manassas just 20 miles north of where we are but trains don't run on Sundays or at least harder to get to as fewer people take them. I begin thinking and praying, "What is it that you'd like me to do Lord?"
"Take him to church with you."
"I can't really do that God. Maybe I can give him a couple bucks and pray for him."
"Take him to church then take him to Manassas."
"No, no you're not listening God, I can't do that. I only have a little time to Spend with my friend here and I don't want to waste it."
"Alright, Ryan I'll lay it out for you so its easy to understand. You do have things to do today. Just like I had things to do the day I was crucified. Now take him to church and then to Manassas." That officially ended the conversation.
It finally comes out that we are going to church soon and he asks if he can go with us. I simply reply, "Sure and afterwards we can head up to Manassas."
We head to church where I secretly hope someone will see him and ask if they can do something. I am shocked and a little disappointed to find much of the church ignore the person we have brought. Then I begin to realize that they are also ignoring each other. They had gone to church but had no real desire to have fellowship with each other. Only the Pastor and a friend of mine chose to stop and talk with both myself and this man.
The three of us get back into my car and drive 20-30 min. north to Manassas. The whole time I grow more and more impatient with his talking and I begin to think again about how much time I will be wasting and not getting to spend with my friend. It becomes a struggle to stay focused on him and what he is talking about despite the fact that he is pouring out part of his life story. We finally get to Manassas and we get him situated and we leave. It was a relief at first to be done with this task, but we are then both filled with awe at what had just taken place. It is amazing that an event that lasted 4-5 hours can affect me so greatly and that despite knowing him only a brief time, this man, David Owen Johnson, will have forever impacted my life.
The question of course catches me off guard but I've come to expect this from him and so I sit and think about it for a while. I begin thinking about what the problems of my generation seem to revolve around and I answer, "Apathy. It is the one thing that keeps us from action and even caring about the hurts and pains of others. Love becomes trivialized because of it and it changes us completely from what God intended us to be."
He nods his head and we talk for a little while longer about it. As we're speaking I see a man with a long scraggly beard and a baseball cap. Other than noticing him, nothing else registers. Fifteen minutes later I see him walk out of the Chick-Fil-A with several bags around him made of old shirts. He was a homeless man and I didn't even care enough to realize it. I beat myself up about it quite a bit the rest of the day and even the following day I had a conversation about it discussing my own hypocrisy with another good friend. This time as I'm talking with her, she points behind me and standing just a few short feet behind is the same man from the day before. I turn around, smile, then get up and walk over to him having absolutely no idea what I'm doing. I say to him "Would you like to have breakfast with us and can I get you anything?"
He humbly replies, "Sure let me set this stuff down."
We walk up to the counter and the previously friendly cashier suddenly seems much more stern and almost irritable. I pay for his meal and we sit down to eat. We talk for a while about his plans and where he is headed. He tells us about his life and shares with us his past. He mentions that he is trying to get to Manassas just 20 miles north of where we are but trains don't run on Sundays or at least harder to get to as fewer people take them. I begin thinking and praying, "What is it that you'd like me to do Lord?"
"Take him to church with you."
"I can't really do that God. Maybe I can give him a couple bucks and pray for him."
"Take him to church then take him to Manassas."
"No, no you're not listening God, I can't do that. I only have a little time to Spend with my friend here and I don't want to waste it."
"Alright, Ryan I'll lay it out for you so its easy to understand. You do have things to do today. Just like I had things to do the day I was crucified. Now take him to church and then to Manassas." That officially ended the conversation.
It finally comes out that we are going to church soon and he asks if he can go with us. I simply reply, "Sure and afterwards we can head up to Manassas."
We head to church where I secretly hope someone will see him and ask if they can do something. I am shocked and a little disappointed to find much of the church ignore the person we have brought. Then I begin to realize that they are also ignoring each other. They had gone to church but had no real desire to have fellowship with each other. Only the Pastor and a friend of mine chose to stop and talk with both myself and this man.
The three of us get back into my car and drive 20-30 min. north to Manassas. The whole time I grow more and more impatient with his talking and I begin to think again about how much time I will be wasting and not getting to spend with my friend. It becomes a struggle to stay focused on him and what he is talking about despite the fact that he is pouring out part of his life story. We finally get to Manassas and we get him situated and we leave. It was a relief at first to be done with this task, but we are then both filled with awe at what had just taken place. It is amazing that an event that lasted 4-5 hours can affect me so greatly and that despite knowing him only a brief time, this man, David Owen Johnson, will have forever impacted my life.
Ridiculous Love
Watching as a young boy curls up in his father's arms I'm suddenly struck by a facet of God that while understood is very poorly grasped. In this image here of the father and the son there is something else going on below the surface. The son shows an intimate trust of his father and the father shows this uncompromising, unfailing, ridiculous love. It is fascinating and phenomenal to think that we can care more about a small individual than ourselves. So many times we hear of stories that parents have risked or given their lives for their children. It is simply unfathomable. To be so incredibly in love that you would literally do anything for them. Then we see God and His Love. We by our very nature are prone to failure, we can't always be loving or caring. There are times when we do fail at loving others even our own family, but God doesn't. He is so drunk with love that He sent His son who was also part of Him to die for us. He had such a ridiculous love that He gave His life for us.
Its a simple fact to grasp, God loved us so He died for us, but how incredible is that love. He is the God of everything. He created the Heavens and the Earth. He told the galaxies how to work, He governs the universe and His love caused Him to choose torture and pain even when the very ones He was saving, spit upon Him. How hard is it for us to trust someone after we've been hurt. Romantically speaking it is incredibly difficult. You fall in love and then your heart is broken, you feel depressed and know you can't feel that way again. God has had His heart broken time and time again but He recklessly goes back for more. He is driven by this all-encompassing ridiculous Love that just won't let go. Its so incredible that no matter how much we think we understand about it, we still haven't scratched the surface. That is the kind of Love that I think everyone desires to have and at the same time trembles at the thought of it. A ridiculous, reckless, uncompromising, irrational kind of Love.
Its a simple fact to grasp, God loved us so He died for us, but how incredible is that love. He is the God of everything. He created the Heavens and the Earth. He told the galaxies how to work, He governs the universe and His love caused Him to choose torture and pain even when the very ones He was saving, spit upon Him. How hard is it for us to trust someone after we've been hurt. Romantically speaking it is incredibly difficult. You fall in love and then your heart is broken, you feel depressed and know you can't feel that way again. God has had His heart broken time and time again but He recklessly goes back for more. He is driven by this all-encompassing ridiculous Love that just won't let go. Its so incredible that no matter how much we think we understand about it, we still haven't scratched the surface. That is the kind of Love that I think everyone desires to have and at the same time trembles at the thought of it. A ridiculous, reckless, uncompromising, irrational kind of Love.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Divine Giggle
It had been a long week at camp. I was tired, drained, a bit frustrated with a few things going on and just ready to have a break. My quiet times had suffered recently due to lack of focus and my own spiritual life was going through a bit of rocky patch. To top things off it was only the middle of the week and I was due to speak at the nightly service about the salvation and grace of God. The whole week was spent trying to plan out this talk, not sure where to begin what to say, how to make it hit home with the campers. I just could not decide what to say. Even after talking with some people who had given this talk before I was still at a loss for words. I just could not feel ok with it.
The day of the talk I spent about an hour just sitting trying to hear God. Desperately longing for some word that he wanted me to share, all I heard was my own breathing. After spending an hour in silence and feeling completely unaccomplished and more stressed than I was before I felt him whisper five words to me, Be humble like a child. With that I went ahead and began working using some of the things from other talks and trying to piece together the message that God wanted me to say. I was still unsure of my talk and wanted some reassurance so out of humility I asked someone else for help. This is far out of character for me as I'm always the one giving help. I've never felt the need to ask people for help especially public speaking. He gave me a few pointers, but just encouraged me that it was good and that it was what the campers needed to hear.
I went to the Vespers service still with butterflies in my stomach and feeling completely inadequate like a child trying to deliver a complex lecture on quantum mechanics. Gently God reassured me and told me not to worry. Two minutes into the message I could feel that God was talking now and felt great about it. I could see the campers eyes as they stared intently at me listening to the words I had to say. After about ten minutes into the talk I knew that it was all God and that the campers were being impacted by the words. At the end of it, I felt an insatiable happiness because I knew that it was what God wanted and what they needed to hear. Then it happened! I said to God, "You Rock." And like a child wrapped up in the strong arms of his father as they're playing I giggled. I could not stop giggling. This wasn't a laugh as though it were a joke, but a humble and loving giggle, where you can't stop feeling happy. Its as though your very soul is being tickled by the thought of being loved by God, by being used by God. It was what I termed the divine giggle. The giggle that signifies your love for God as a child of Him. It reminded me of the time when I was a young child and I had just been given Winnie the pooh sheets. I was so happy. Nothing else mattered in that moment than those sheets. Just like that moment as a child I was able to experience the same joy over being wrapped in the arms of God. I have analyzed the idea of being like a child many times, but never before have I been so much of a child before God. My challenge from now is to have the courage to giggle over the divine Love of God.
The day of the talk I spent about an hour just sitting trying to hear God. Desperately longing for some word that he wanted me to share, all I heard was my own breathing. After spending an hour in silence and feeling completely unaccomplished and more stressed than I was before I felt him whisper five words to me, Be humble like a child. With that I went ahead and began working using some of the things from other talks and trying to piece together the message that God wanted me to say. I was still unsure of my talk and wanted some reassurance so out of humility I asked someone else for help. This is far out of character for me as I'm always the one giving help. I've never felt the need to ask people for help especially public speaking. He gave me a few pointers, but just encouraged me that it was good and that it was what the campers needed to hear.
I went to the Vespers service still with butterflies in my stomach and feeling completely inadequate like a child trying to deliver a complex lecture on quantum mechanics. Gently God reassured me and told me not to worry. Two minutes into the message I could feel that God was talking now and felt great about it. I could see the campers eyes as they stared intently at me listening to the words I had to say. After about ten minutes into the talk I knew that it was all God and that the campers were being impacted by the words. At the end of it, I felt an insatiable happiness because I knew that it was what God wanted and what they needed to hear. Then it happened! I said to God, "You Rock." And like a child wrapped up in the strong arms of his father as they're playing I giggled. I could not stop giggling. This wasn't a laugh as though it were a joke, but a humble and loving giggle, where you can't stop feeling happy. Its as though your very soul is being tickled by the thought of being loved by God, by being used by God. It was what I termed the divine giggle. The giggle that signifies your love for God as a child of Him. It reminded me of the time when I was a young child and I had just been given Winnie the pooh sheets. I was so happy. Nothing else mattered in that moment than those sheets. Just like that moment as a child I was able to experience the same joy over being wrapped in the arms of God. I have analyzed the idea of being like a child many times, but never before have I been so much of a child before God. My challenge from now is to have the courage to giggle over the divine Love of God.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Stillness
It was a beautiful night, with stars in the sky and a light breeze bringing in the early evening. I gently strolled back to my cabin and just enjoyed the night that God had given me. As I was walking I decided to just stop and listen to what was going on around me. There was a sharp contrast between the time that I was walking and the time that I just sat and was still. I let my breathing become a bit controlled and I just relaxed. The birds became easy to hear and I could hear the rustling of the leaves as the wind blew through them. The more quiet I was the more I could hear around me. Over near some other cabins I could hear the laughter and enjoyment coming from campers. In the distance I could hear some cars moving along on the road nearby. The only thing that I could not hear was myself. By being still I was focused completely on the outside and not on myself.
Psalm 46:10 says Be still and know that I am God. Having been still many times before I had never noticed how much focus is drawn to everything else and not myself during those periods. I think that when Gods says "Be still", He is telling us that it is the best way to focus on Him and not ourselves. At summer camp, it is very difficult to have a moment where we can simply be still. We are constantly moving and constantly doing some fun and crazy activity. While awesome and often times pointing to God, it is still a struggle to remain focused on God and others and not ourselves. Its amazing at how easily spending just five minutes being still can completely change a person's focus for an entire day. God gave us the gift of stillness so that we could move past being focused on our desires and ambitions and allowing us to focus on Him and His Love for us.
Psalm 46:10 says Be still and know that I am God. Having been still many times before I had never noticed how much focus is drawn to everything else and not myself during those periods. I think that when Gods says "Be still", He is telling us that it is the best way to focus on Him and not ourselves. At summer camp, it is very difficult to have a moment where we can simply be still. We are constantly moving and constantly doing some fun and crazy activity. While awesome and often times pointing to God, it is still a struggle to remain focused on God and others and not ourselves. Its amazing at how easily spending just five minutes being still can completely change a person's focus for an entire day. God gave us the gift of stillness so that we could move past being focused on our desires and ambitions and allowing us to focus on Him and His Love for us.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
A Psalm
How great is He
Who formed the Earth and the Sea.
How marvelous are His ways
O Ancient of Days.
You alone give me Peace
You alone give me Grace
O Lord I shall seek you
As surely as rain brings morning dew.
It is you that blesses me
All my enemies they do flee.
I am your servant
I pray that I flee from being a truant.
Thank you O Lord for you are good
For making your ways understood.
Joy
What Greater Gift is this
than this everlasting bliss.
Freely was it given
When our sins were forgiven.
This great gift of sovereign joy
Is far beyond any earthly toy
Over all my thoughts does it reign
Through the days of sun and the days of rain.
What comfort does it bring
As though all the birds would sing
and trumpet the sound of its praise
Forever and ever to the end of days.
This joy points only to Grace
So that we may continue to seek his face.
Doubt
It creeps in so very subtle
During my normal commute on the shuttle.
My mind has no time to react
And so no plan of action is there to enact.
I seek some kind of proof
To show this is the only way.
My heart and mind feel so aloof
As though I were Thomas of this day.
My heart fights with all its might
to bend and break this line of thought.
I am not alone in this fight
For all across the world this battle is being fought.
My mind surrenders knowing that logic has prevailed
That flowing Grace has availed.
Prayer
He fights for the words to express.
The direness of his distress.
Plagued by his fear.
He longs for someone to hear.
Softly it starts as only a whisper
The air becomes crisper.
The sound of a prayer
How could anything be fairer?
While small in length and size
Its heartfelt with tears in his eyes.
Every word chosen with care
So his story, he may share.
For it is Him that will listen
To every problem and everything missin'.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Least of these
I paint the window with as much care as possible, being careful not to miss a spot on its intricate design. Noticing I'm far from alone, I glance to my right. There stands a young boy with a mop of hair. His name is as complex as the window I'm currently painting. He looks up at me with his big brown eyes and wearing a huge smile. Just as he has not changed his clothes from the day before, his curiosity and joy have remained unchanged. It was just one day before that I met this young boy. With his long uncontrolled hair, he immediately stood out among the many that surrounded me. He carried a deflated soccer ball excited to be able to play with the a ball. I reached deep into my backpack and pulled out a sports pump and went over to him. I gently motioned to him to hand me the ball. He hesitantly gave it to me and as the ball began to inflate, a small crowd joined us. Grins that shone more beautiful than the morning sunrise engulfed me. Seeing their faces, I begin to get a glimpse of the beauty of God for it shines in their eyes like stars. I have a to pause for a moment to catch my breath and fight back the tears.
Today we have been finishing off the painting of the church and my job has been to paint this window. My friend sits there holding the can of paint for me out of his eagerness to offer whatever kind of help he can. He gives without thinking as the can is sizable compared to his small body. I thank him and continue to paint. He stays by me hoping to be of some help, yet he has already given me far more than he could possibly know. Two others come to watch as well, a small girl and another girl who is slightly older than my friend. The girl asks me my name in possibly one of the only English phrases she knows, I respond and ask her hers. She is Lamku, her brown eyes sparkle and her hair is tightly braided to keep the dust out of it. My small group sits there smiling as I paint this window, they are content in simply being there with me. Not needing anything except to be near this curious stranger that they have met. I take a moment to just breathe it in. Their smiles and their joy humble me beyond what I knew was possible. They have this contentedness, they need nothing more than the company that they are in.
How can these three children who have nothing but the clothes on their back be so rich? Despite all of my possessions and lifestyle I have not their contentment, their unfailing joy. As my paint brush gently paints the window of this church I begin to realize how cluttered my life is by my material possessions. Just as the paint I place on the window covers the window's faults so it is with my possessions as they cover up my purpose in life. Their joy, their contentment, their smiles come from Love and of having only Jesus. In the kingdom of heaven we are to do unto the least of these as we do unto God, but painting here with Lamku and my friend next to me, I realize I AM the least of these.
Today we have been finishing off the painting of the church and my job has been to paint this window. My friend sits there holding the can of paint for me out of his eagerness to offer whatever kind of help he can. He gives without thinking as the can is sizable compared to his small body. I thank him and continue to paint. He stays by me hoping to be of some help, yet he has already given me far more than he could possibly know. Two others come to watch as well, a small girl and another girl who is slightly older than my friend. The girl asks me my name in possibly one of the only English phrases she knows, I respond and ask her hers. She is Lamku, her brown eyes sparkle and her hair is tightly braided to keep the dust out of it. My small group sits there smiling as I paint this window, they are content in simply being there with me. Not needing anything except to be near this curious stranger that they have met. I take a moment to just breathe it in. Their smiles and their joy humble me beyond what I knew was possible. They have this contentedness, they need nothing more than the company that they are in.
How can these three children who have nothing but the clothes on their back be so rich? Despite all of my possessions and lifestyle I have not their contentment, their unfailing joy. As my paint brush gently paints the window of this church I begin to realize how cluttered my life is by my material possessions. Just as the paint I place on the window covers the window's faults so it is with my possessions as they cover up my purpose in life. Their joy, their contentment, their smiles come from Love and of having only Jesus. In the kingdom of heaven we are to do unto the least of these as we do unto God, but painting here with Lamku and my friend next to me, I realize I AM the least of these.
Two Treasures
I sit here looking at two priceless treasures. Their worth is unfathomable. One is a soccer ball. The gashes in it have been formed from the many days of use. The dirt has become part of the ball itself. It has been misshapen from the use. Distorted from its original roundness. You can barely recall what it should look like. The other is a volleyball, or at least it once was. It is deflated and the outside covering in tatters barely being held together. It has been used even more than the soccer ball. No longer does it hold its shape but has become almost incomparably altered.
These are my treasures and to think that all I did was give away a new soccer ball in exchange for each. I am sure that those soccer balls will one day become treasures just as these have earned their value. Their eyes so rich as we traded. I see why Christ traded us our old broken lives for new ones. He wanted to see our joy, and our lives are as precious to him as these balls are now to me. They tell a story, a story of joy and happiness despite the squalor that they have endured. Just like the days preceding this have met with gleaming smiles and melting eyes, today is no different. These treasures I hold, tell of richness that I can only hope for. They tell of a joy and peace that I do not know. To some they may seem trivial or dirty or even garbage but when closely examined it is easy to tell of their great worth.
What other treasure on Earth has the power to bring this kind of joy or to dull the pains of hunger and thirst? What treasure of Solomon could have done this? The gift of laughter and of joy is more precious than all that this world has to offer. These treasures have the ability to mask the pain they must feel as illness takes them. As disease runs rampant, it is clear that these treasures are among the only things that provide a respite from their struggles. So yes, these two treasures I hold are worth far more than all of the most dazzling diamonds, the brightest sapphires, the deepest rubies and the purest gold. It is like a beautiful painting except far more beautiful as it does not tell the story of a wealthy man or woman. It does not tell the story of some powerful ruler. It tells the story of the forgotten.
These are my treasures and to think that all I did was give away a new soccer ball in exchange for each. I am sure that those soccer balls will one day become treasures just as these have earned their value. Their eyes so rich as we traded. I see why Christ traded us our old broken lives for new ones. He wanted to see our joy, and our lives are as precious to him as these balls are now to me. They tell a story, a story of joy and happiness despite the squalor that they have endured. Just like the days preceding this have met with gleaming smiles and melting eyes, today is no different. These treasures I hold, tell of richness that I can only hope for. They tell of a joy and peace that I do not know. To some they may seem trivial or dirty or even garbage but when closely examined it is easy to tell of their great worth.
What other treasure on Earth has the power to bring this kind of joy or to dull the pains of hunger and thirst? What treasure of Solomon could have done this? The gift of laughter and of joy is more precious than all that this world has to offer. These treasures have the ability to mask the pain they must feel as illness takes them. As disease runs rampant, it is clear that these treasures are among the only things that provide a respite from their struggles. So yes, these two treasures I hold are worth far more than all of the most dazzling diamonds, the brightest sapphires, the deepest rubies and the purest gold. It is like a beautiful painting except far more beautiful as it does not tell the story of a wealthy man or woman. It does not tell the story of some powerful ruler. It tells the story of the forgotten.
Let Go.
As I focused on God, I began to think about myself stranded in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean with no land in sight. I’m just treading water trying to stay afloat with absolutely no sense of direction and no obvious means of support. I start to grow tired and sink below the surface briefly, quickly gaining another burst of energy and able to keep myself afloat for a little while longer. Yet, just as my initial energy ran out, so too does this quick burst of energy and again I find myself struggling in the water. Panicking and afraid, I cry out to God, “Lord I can’t do this. I just can’t keep going like this, it’s too hard.”
I hear a faint whisper that seems to speak with authority. “I can. Just let go.”
Baffled at the reply and unsure what to do, I simply respond by treading more water until the voice comes again and says, “Ryan, let go.”
Tears streaming down my face I shout back, “God, I don’t know how!”
Gently comes the reply, “Ryan just stop treading water.”
“But I’ll drown!”
“Let go.”
Out of frustration and anger more than anything else, I stop treading water. Sure that I will sink, I intend prove to God that what he asks is impossible. To my surprise, however, I do not sink at all but rather I notice something I didn’t before. I suddenly feel the strong arms of God supporting me. They were always there just as a gentle father does as he is teaching his son to swim. I laugh for a second and wipe away my tears. Feeling a little foolish I figure out what it is that God was teaching me. So often I try to tread water and do things on my own, not trusting that God has me the entire time. I’m so busy trying to accomplish God’s plan in my life that I forget its God’s plan not mine and He determines my steps. I always seem to be the biggest obstacle in God’s plan for my life and I need to realize that I just have to let go.
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