Death to self

There are many qualities out there that seem to defy conventional methods for being defined.  Words like generosity and greatness are often terms that are often better explained by providing examples of someone who embodies them rather than trying to articulate an accurate definition.  I often find that this is true with the term humility.  It seems every definition that I find always leaves me wanting more.  Take for instance the popular C.S. Lewis quote, "True humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less."  Now this certainly has an aspect of truth and is very catchy with the poetic inversion of terms.  In many cases, this is something that many can really learn from.  The problem is that someone who is truly humble by this definition is woefully unaware of themselves, and it is only by knowing ourselves fully that we are able to enact lasting change.  Then there is the definition that Lewis contradicts in his statement that says, humility is thinking less of ourselves.  Yet does Paul not urge this in his letter to the Philippians?  Philippians 2:3 says, "... in humility count others more significant than yourselves."  He seems to be declaring that we are acting in humility when we consider others more important than ourselves.  Unfortunately this really only helps us see what humility looks like, but we are no closer to defining it.

Now sure we can point to people who were humble throughout history.  We look at people such as Mother Theresa whose humility is well known or to the stories of clergy during the black plague who stayed with the sick and dying even when the rest of the people fled from these places.  Certainly one looks to the life of Jesus who spent his time healing the sick, caring for the needy, and sacrificing himself for the sake of sinners.  These are indeed acts of great humility and we find ourselves deeply humbled by them.  In the pursuit of humility we try to emulate these sort of lives and model their behaviors, but something always seems to be missing and our pride continues to bleed through.  Because we have such a vague understanding of what humility is, we often struggle to work toward it.  In fact I've often been so dissatisfied with the definitions of humility that I have considered it impossible to define.  Then last night, while I was working I came across a piece of artwork that contained a definition of humility that I found to have a firm grasp on the virtue.

"Humility is putting others first by giving up what you think you deserve." (Orange Resources)

You see, each of us has an inherent worth that we need to be aware of, indeed were are made in the image of God and dearly loved by Him.  Humility, however, is the act of setting aside that worth for the sake of others.  Humility is always outward focused and is about lifting others up at our own expense.  Simply stated, humility is death to self.  When we seek to put aside our egos and our need to be recognized and known then we are able to find real humility.  It is no wonder then that this is such an elusive virtue.  We are constantly craving to be known and be heard and to set that aside goes against that very desire.  Each of us has the desire to be seen by others and to experience real community that comes from being appreciated for all that we are.

Humility asks us to set aside the inner desire to be respected and affirmed and instead to move outwards in love and grace.  To walk humbly with God is to do exactly this with those we come into contact with.  Self-awareness allows us to recognize our temptation that we have to put our own need for affirmation above the needs of others.  Humility calls us to listen to the hearts of those in our midst even when our own being is calling out to be known.  Humility calls us to die to self.