The Disappointing Cross

Yesterday was Good Friday and it got me thinking about what it must have been like for the disciples.  The week leading up to Good Friday was filled with excitement.  Palm Sunday began with the triumphal entry of Jesus into Jerusalem.  His followers laid down their cloaks before him and there was a deep sense of excitement among the people.  As the week continued Jesus confronted the Pharisees and his disciples began to wonder.  As N.T. Wright points out, they figured they would have the top jobs of the very Earthly kingdom of Jesus.  Their anticipation grew throughout the week.  Jesus was about to become King and Israel was about to be free.  Then something different began to take shape.

On the evening before he was to be executed, he shared a meal with his closest disciples.  He said to them that one of them would betray him.  Everyone denied it, and why shouldn't they?  Jesus is going to become king, to betray him would not end well and Jesus confirmed that.  Soon after that, Jesus said that they will all scatter and Peter stood up and boasted that he will not.  Put yourself in Peter's shoes.  He has been one of the most intimate disciples of Jesus.  He has declared that Jesus is the Son of God, the Christ.  He and everyone else knows that when Jesus becomes King, Peter will occupy one of the top positions in the kingdom.  Jesus has tried to prepare him for what is to happen next, but they haven't truly heard.  They still do not understand, their hopes lie in the wrong things.

The night Jesus is betrayed, Peter is there.  As the guards grab Jesus, Peter draws his sword and strikes one of them and is then reprimanded by Jesus and the guard is healed.  What must have been going through Peter's mind?  Surely, he would have been completely puzzled.  The man he has followed for three years is now being handed over to those that want him killed.  All of his hopes lie in Jesus and yet Jesus willingly goes with the guards.  This can't be right.  The disciples scatter as Jesus is led to the council of priests and elders.  After following for so long Peter knows nothing else.  This time though, he follows at a distance.  He has been by Jesus' side for so long and yet now he follows in the shadows.  Perhaps he thinks Jesus is up to something.  Or maybe he just doesn't know what else to do.  So he follows... at a distance.

Then Jesus stands before the council, Peter just within earshot.  The priests bring in witnesses each bearing false testimony against Jesus.  Peter hears the testimonies and his blood begins to boil.  He was there, he knows that those things aren't true.  Why doesn't Jesus say something?  Why doesn't he reprove them like he always does?  Something inside Peter wants to shout at the false witnesses and free Jesus from his bondage.  Peter still doesn't understand who is freeing who.  Then the high priest asks Jesus a question, "Are you the Christ, the Son of the Blessed?"  Jesus doesn't respond with a question like he normally does, but merely replies, "I am, and you will see the Son of Man seated at the right hand of Power, and coming with the clouds of heaven."  At this the high priest condemns him to death and people begin spitting on and beating him.  They mock and ridicule him.  Peter stands looking on.  What has happened?  How could this have gone so wrong?

He is in shock.  All of his hopes had been in Jesus.  His hope for a better life.  His hope for the nation of Israel.  He has invested the last three years of his life with this man, following him all around Israel and now Jesus is going to be executed.  Peter has seen Jesus calm the storm, feed thousands, heal the sick, walk on water and even bring the dead back to life.  Yet now he watches in horror as Jesus is beaten and carried away to Pilate.  Peter's excitement about the coming kingdom has come crashing down.  He is filled with fear and disappointment.  He is completely alone.  Suddenly someone accuses him of being a disciple of Jesus.  He comes back from within himself and becomes defensive.  He denies ever knowing Jesus.  Things are all a whirlwind around him, two more times he denies Jesus and after the third the rooster crows and something inside Peter breaks.  He has denied the very man he swore allegiance to.  He has denied ever knowing his teacher, his friend, his master.  He is overwhelmed with grief.  You can feel him saying, "Why God!!  Why is this happening?"

It is good Friday and Peter watches as Jesus is nailed to a cross.  He watches as his hopes are dashed.  To Peter the cross brings no hope.  Everything that he had thought about for so long is being washed away by the cross.  He has no hope left, only disappointment, only shame.  To him and the rest of the disciples, it is a disappointing cross.  It is indeed Good Friday, but to Peter and the disciples there is nothing good about it. 


When we observe Good Friday we share in the disciples' disappointments.  How often have we gotten it wrong?  How many times have we expected Jesus to do something a certain way only to be disappointed?  And how many times have we shared in Peter's struggle?  Have we traveled at a distance, while Jesus goes to take our punishment?  How many times have we stood by the fire keeping ourselves warm as Jesus is mocked and ridiculed?  Been embarrassed to stand by his side?  And how many times have we denied our savior?  The disciples didn't understand what Jesus was really up to.  The cross was a disappointment to the disciples.  You can feel the it in them on the the road to Emmaus as they converse with a stranger about Jesus being crucified.  It was a scandalous, disappointing cross and if that was all the story, then it would remain so.  But the story is not over.  When Jesus cries out, "It is finished!"  He doesn't declare the end of the story, only the end of the act, the next part is soon to begin, but until then we wait.  We wait in the disappointment of our hopes.  We wait without understanding.  We look to God and simply ask, "What are you doing?"  He gently tells us, "Come to the scandalous cross and simply wait and see."