Fall Away

As a ropes course facilitator my job was always to enhance a group's ability to work together.  It was my responsibility to guide the group in team building activities that were designed to promote teamwork, strategies, and leadership.  One of the foundations of team building activities is trust.  If you don't trust your teammates, then it is impossible to work together.  In particular, whenever a person would be on a cable element we would have the other people help spot the person, protecting them should they fall.  To help practice this we would do two person trust falls.  This required one person to be in a good spotting position while another person fell back into their hands.  Right before the person would fall back we would run through several commands to ensure safety of the participant.  One series of commands would have the person who is falling say "Falling," while the spotter would reply "Fall away."  You could always tell which people really trusted and which did not by how they would fall.  Some people would begin to lean back and then put a foot back to stabilize themselves rather than wait to be caught in the arms of the person behind them.  Others however would simply fall back without any hesitation.  It was these latter people that were truly trusting their spotter.

I got to thinking about this a bit the other day in my bible study.  We were discussing trusting in God and were working with the passage that talks about how the doves do not reap and sow yet they are still well fed and do not worry about where they will find food.  It also talks about the lilies of the field and how they do not make clothes for themselves yet they are clothed in greater splendor than Solomon.  The point of the passage is to not worry.  My initial reaction to the passage is always the same.  I have always felt like I'm pretty good at not worrying.  I'm naturally a laid back person and so I rarely worry about most things.  I had to ask myself though why it was that I don't worry.  You see while the passage deals with not worrying, the overriding principle is trusting in God.  Was I really trusting in God and just falling back into his arms?  Or was I trusting in something else and taking a step to stabilize myself before falling?

I began recognizing safety nets all around me.  In terms of finances, I have my parents and my savings account to fall back on.  In terms of jobs, I have always been welcome to work at certain camps during certain seasons.  Even in social situations, I have always made sure that there was someone in the crowd that I could talk to or hang out with in case I found myself on the outside of the group.  I have always had something to fall back on.  It isn't that these things are naturally a hindrance, but rather that I have made them the foundation of my trust.  I haven't trusted in God to be there to support me, I have trusted in my own ability to be comfortable and secure.

This was made startling aware to me by a recent financial struggle.  Due to a small miscommunication, I was short a good deal of money for my next semester in seminary.  This happened to coincide with several repairs that were required for my car.  I was thoroughly stressed and concerned.  My parents again came through to help me with repairs as part of my Christmas present, but I was still unsure how I was going to afford Seminary.  Sure I had loans, but they weren't enough to cover the discrepancy in scholarships.  I was at in impasse.  It made me realize that my carefree attitude had nothing to do with my trust in God and everything to do with my comfortable lifestyle.  It was God's subtle way of reminding me who is sovereign and where my trust should truly be.  Since then, the error has been rectified and I can afford seminary again, but I have also learned a valuable lesson about myself and seen something that needs to change in my heart.  Despite my laid back personality and my charmed life, my trust still rested in myself and my circumstances and not in my relationship with God.  It is my hope that as I continue to process this lesson, and as I hear God say "Fall away."  I will throw caution to the wind and simply fall back into his loving arms.