Stillness

It was a beautiful night, with stars in the sky and a light breeze bringing in the early evening. I gently strolled back to my cabin and just enjoyed the night that God had given me. As I was walking I decided to just stop and listen to what was going on around me. There was a sharp contrast between the time that I was walking and the time that I just sat and was still. I let my breathing become a bit controlled and I just relaxed. The birds became easy to hear and I could hear the rustling of the leaves as the wind blew through them. The more quiet I was the more I could hear around me. Over near some other cabins I could hear the laughter and enjoyment coming from campers. In the distance I could hear some cars moving along on the road nearby. The only thing that I could not hear was myself. By being still I was focused completely on the outside and not on myself.

Psalm 46:10 says Be still and know that I am God. Having been still many times before I had never noticed how much focus is drawn to everything else and not myself during those periods. I think that when Gods says "Be still", He is telling us that it is the best way to focus on Him and not ourselves. At summer camp, it is very difficult to have a moment where we can simply be still. We are constantly moving and constantly doing some fun and crazy activity. While awesome and often times pointing to God, it is still a struggle to remain focused on God and others and not ourselves. Its amazing at how easily spending just five minutes being still can completely change a person's focus for an entire day. God gave us the gift of stillness so that we could move past being focused on our desires and ambitions and allowing us to focus on Him and His Love for us.

A Psalm

How great is He

Who formed the Earth and the Sea.

How marvelous are His ways

O Ancient of Days.

You alone give me Peace

You alone give me Grace

O Lord I shall seek you

As surely as rain brings morning dew.

It is you that blesses me

All my enemies they do flee.

I am your servant

I pray that I flee from being a truant.

Thank you O Lord for you are good

For making your ways understood.

Joy

What Greater Gift is this

than this everlasting bliss.

Freely was it given

When our sins were forgiven.

This great gift of sovereign joy

Is far beyond any earthly toy

Over all my thoughts does it reign

Through the days of sun and the days of rain.

What comfort does it bring

As though all the birds would sing

and trumpet the sound of its praise

Forever and ever to the end of days.

This joy points only to Grace

So that we may continue to seek his face.

Doubt

It creeps in so very subtle

During my normal commute on the shuttle.

My mind has no time to react

And so no plan of action is there to enact.

I seek some kind of proof

To show this is the only way.

My heart and mind feel so aloof

As though I were Thomas of this day.

My heart fights with all its might

to bend and break this line of thought.

I am not alone in this fight

For all across the world this battle is being fought.

My mind surrenders knowing that logic has prevailed

That flowing Grace has availed.

Prayer

He fights for the words to express.

The direness of his distress.

Plagued by his fear.

He longs for someone to hear.

Softly it starts as only a whisper

The air becomes crisper.

The sound of a prayer

How could anything be fairer?

While small in length and size

Its heartfelt with tears in his eyes.

Every word chosen with care

So his story, he may share.

For it is Him that will listen

To every problem and everything missin'.

Least of these

I paint the window with as much care as possible, being careful not to miss a spot on its intricate design. Noticing I'm far from alone, I glance to my right. There stands a young boy with a mop of hair. His name is as complex as the window I'm currently painting. He looks up at me with his big brown eyes and wearing a huge smile. Just as he has not changed his clothes from the day before, his curiosity and joy have remained unchanged. It was just one day before that I met this young boy. With his long uncontrolled hair, he immediately stood out among the many that surrounded me. He carried a deflated soccer ball excited to be able to play with the a ball. I reached deep into my backpack and pulled out a sports pump and went over to him. I gently motioned to him to hand me the ball. He hesitantly gave it to me and as the ball began to inflate, a small crowd joined us. Grins that shone more beautiful than the morning sunrise engulfed me. Seeing their faces, I begin to get a glimpse of the beauty of God for it shines in their eyes like stars. I have a to pause for a moment to catch my breath and fight back the tears.

Today we have been finishing off the painting of the church and my job has been to paint this window. My friend sits there holding the can of paint for me out of his eagerness to offer whatever kind of help he can. He gives without thinking as the can is sizable compared to his small body. I thank him and continue to paint. He stays by me hoping to be of some help, yet he has already given me far more than he could possibly know. Two others come to watch as well, a small girl and another girl who is slightly older than my friend. The girl asks me my name in possibly one of the only English phrases she knows, I respond and ask her hers. She is Lamku, her brown eyes sparkle and her hair is tightly braided to keep the dust out of it. My small group sits there smiling as I paint this window, they are content in simply being there with me. Not needing anything except to be near this curious stranger that they have met. I take a moment to just breathe it in. Their smiles and their joy humble me beyond what I knew was possible. They have this contentedness, they need nothing more than the company that they are in.

How can these three children who have nothing but the clothes on their back be so rich? Despite all of my possessions and lifestyle I have not their contentment, their unfailing joy. As my paint brush gently paints the window of this church I begin to realize how cluttered my life is by my material possessions. Just as the paint I place on the window covers the window's faults so it is with my possessions as they cover up my purpose in life. Their joy, their contentment, their smiles come from Love and of having only Jesus. In the kingdom of heaven we are to do unto the least of these as we do unto God, but painting here with Lamku and my friend next to me, I realize I AM the least of these.

Two Treasures

I sit here looking at two priceless treasures. Their worth is unfathomable. One is a soccer ball. The gashes in it have been formed from the many days of use. The dirt has become part of the ball itself. It has been misshapen from the use. Distorted from its original roundness. You can barely recall what it should look like. The other is a volleyball, or at least it once was. It is deflated and the outside covering in tatters barely being held together. It has been used even more than the soccer ball. No longer does it hold its shape but has become almost incomparably altered.

These are my treasures and to think that all I did was give away a new soccer ball in exchange for each. I am sure that those soccer balls will one day become treasures just as these have earned their value. Their eyes so rich as we traded. I see why Christ traded us our old broken lives for new ones. He wanted to see our joy, and our lives are as precious to him as these balls are now to me. They tell a story, a story of joy and happiness despite the squalor that they have endured. Just like the days preceding this have met with gleaming smiles and melting eyes, today is no different. These treasures I hold, tell of richness that I can only hope for. They tell of a joy and peace that I do not know. To some they may seem trivial or dirty or even garbage but when closely examined it is easy to tell of their great worth.

What other treasure on Earth has the power to bring this kind of joy or to dull the pains of hunger and thirst? What treasure of Solomon could have done this? The gift of laughter and of joy is more precious than all that this world has to offer. These treasures have the ability to mask the pain they must feel as illness takes them. As disease runs rampant, it is clear that these treasures are among the only things that provide a respite from their struggles. So yes, these two treasures I hold are worth far more than all of the most dazzling diamonds, the brightest sapphires, the deepest rubies and the purest gold. It is like a beautiful painting except far more beautiful as it does not tell the story of a wealthy man or woman. It does not tell the story of some powerful ruler. It tells the story of the forgotten.

Let Go.

It had been kind of a long day. I was working at camp and the groups that I worked with were a bit disrespectful and, of course, to top things off I had gotten a rather unceremonious letter in my mailbox saying that I would not be offered an interview for yet another Camp Director position. Every few minutes I would just rub my forehead trying to figure out why this keeps happening if this God’s plan for me. I began concentrating and spent some time in prayer about my situation and how it seemed God wasn’t following through on His end.

As I focused on God, I began to think about myself stranded in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean with no land in sight. I’m just treading water trying to stay afloat with absolutely no sense of direction and no obvious means of support. I start to grow tired and sink below the surface briefly, quickly gaining another burst of energy and able to keep myself afloat for a little while longer. Yet, just as my initial energy ran out, so too does this quick burst of energy and again I find myself struggling in the water. Panicking and afraid, I cry out to God, “Lord I can’t do this. I just can’t keep going like this, it’s too hard.”

I hear a faint whisper that seems to speak with authority. “I can. Just let go.”

Baffled at the reply and unsure what to do, I simply respond by treading more water until the voice comes again and says, “Ryan, let go.”

Tears streaming down my face I shout back, “God, I don’t know how!”

Gently comes the reply, “Ryan just stop treading water.”

“But I’ll drown!”

“Let go.”

Out of frustration and anger more than anything else, I stop treading water. Sure that I will sink, I intend prove to God that what he asks is impossible. To my surprise, however, I do not sink at all but rather I notice something I didn’t before. I suddenly feel the strong arms of God supporting me. They were always there just as a gentle father does as he is teaching his son to swim. I laugh for a second and wipe away my tears. Feeling a little foolish I figure out what it is that God was teaching me. So often I try to tread water and do things on my own, not trusting that God has me the entire time. I’m so busy trying to accomplish God’s plan in my life that I forget its God’s plan not mine and He determines my steps. I always seem to be the biggest obstacle in God’s plan for my life and I need to realize that I just have to let go.