Gilded sin

For a long time now, I have seen myself as being full of Pride and that that has been my greatest fault.  I boldly tell others that I have been struggling with Pride and I wish for humility.  I am certainly not alone in this fight.  This seems to be a common trait in America especially among Christians.  We have taken on a very pharisee-like approach to Christianity.  The more and more we know about God and the more "holy" we become lead us to becoming more prideful and then we declare to everyone that the greatest sin in our lives is our pride.  Here is the problem with this, we use the terminology "Pride" or "Self-righteousness".  These terms, while negative, can also have positive connotations.  We take pride in doing a good job, we are proud of our friend's accomplishments, we are especially proud of those in our family who have done great things or simply proud to be in their family.  So when we say pride we are actually, unconsciously saying we've done well and now all that's left is this pride thing which really isn't that big of a deal.  We have made Pride into what Jerry Bridges would call a "Respectable Sin".  We have allowed ourselves to gild the sin with a glossy coating and count it as less than other outward sins.  This is a sad state that we cannot allow ourselves to stay in.  What if we were to chip away the gilding of the sin and call pride for what it is: arrogance, selfishness, ego-centric?  These words paint a grotesque picture.  It shows us as superior to others which is often at the very heart of pride.  By calling out pride for what it really is, we expose the true ugliness that lies within.

Now we must also acknowledge that there are different types of arrogance.  There is the type of arrogance that breeds off of the praises of others.  We do things to look good in front of others.  We live for the Audience of Many as Os Guinness puts it.  This is one of the biggest problems that we face as Christians.  We are called to do acts of service in our response to God's Love for us.  These acts of service often are accompanied by gratitude and thanks mixed with applause.  If we are not careful this becomes the goal of those acts of service.  We may also seek to live holy lives in response to God's love.  One of the problems that soon arise, however, is that people see us as being holy or somehow set apart and thus the reasoning behind our quest for holiness has changed from God's love, to the admiration of others.  These acts of service or praise driven holiness begin to build up glass facades that come shattering down when our sinful nature is exposed.  Our outward selves have been built up around us in the effort to mask that which lies underneath.  It is this type of arrogance that makes Christians so often labeled as hypocrites.  We claim to have this spiritual maturity and thus have a lack of sin in our lives.  We pass ourselves off as holy, when in reality we are still stuck in sin.  When we fall, we fall hard and far.

The other type of arrogance that we must be aware of and protect against is far more malicious.  C.S. Lewis remarked in Mere Christianity that "The real black, diabolical Pride comes from when you look down on others so much that you do not care what they think of you."  Building off this point, Os Guiness says that, we "... live before an Audience of one, but the audience is not God but us."  You see we can often become so arrogant that we consider ourselves so much better than others that neither the praise of men nor the rebuke of men can affect us.  If we think that we are better than others, then our acts of service merely become obligations of the privileged rather than genuine love for others.  The love that God commanded us to have is lost and replaced by a cheap imitation that no more resembles the original then my attempt at painting the Mona Lisa.  This type of arrogance makes us pray like the Pharisee, thanking God for making us not like the tax collector.  It puts us in the place of God.

If we are to confront our Pride and make a change then we must stop trying to sugar-coat it and expose the ugliness that is there.  Arrogance, conceit, self-promotion, all of these seek to put ourselves first and everything else second.  This includes God.  I think this is why God says that he detests pride.  He says that pride comes before the fall.  I think He was talking literally about THE Fall.  The serpent in the garden persuaded Eve to eat of the fruit by saying that you will be like God.  Out of that desire, she took a bite and then Adam, enticed as well by the prospect of being like God, took a bite.  They chose themselves over God.  We trusted our own ways in the garden over God's assuming that we were right in our methods.  We chose our pride and arrogance over the loving relationship of God.

This reminds me of a story that happened a few years ago.  I had spent a great weekend with a friend at my grandparents' house and we were driving back to her home to drop her off.  I said, "turn right up ahead."

She said, "No, no its up a little more."

I said, "Are you sure?" 

She told me, "I think I know the way to my own home." 

My pride had stepped in, thinking I knew better.  People who know me, know that this a common occurrence with me.  This, however, is NOT okay.  Understanding the gravity of arrogance, we should be seeking to humble ourselves on a moment by moment basis.  I believe that David, a man after God's own heart, after seeing this level of pride in his life would have long ago torn his clothes, put on a sackcloth and ashes and humbled himself before the Lord seeking repentance.  Let us not gild our sin of conceit, but rather understand the magnitude and the far-reaching effects it has.