During the last week or so I have been struck by a verse in Phillipians. Phillipians 2:14 Do everything without complaining or arguing. It has been reinforced by one of the verses preceding it Phillipians 2:3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Those two verses have completely changed my thought process. Jesus came to Earth to be a servant to sinners. He came to be the lowliest of low. He was spit on, stoned, beaten, flogged, persecuted, and crucified. He did not argue or complain. He did none of these things to gain attention to himself. If he had wanted to, He could have done many more miraculous things including stepping off the cross, but He did what the Father wanted Him to do. I can't begin to tell of all the times that I've complained or argued with something that I just didn't see the logic in. The number of times where the authority in my life didn't make sense to me. What is worse, however, is I can't describe the number of times where I have tried to be a servant only so that I can draw attention to myself.
There was a point the other day where I had to do a few things that were rather difficult and were pretty labor intensive that nobody else had to do. I knew that if I simply said something about it, I would get sympathy and then I could shrug it off as nothing, when really all I wanted was attention. That is the furthest thing from being a servant, because the only thing I'm serving in that moment is myself. To be a servant we must take on the lowliest position whatever that is. Sometimes it is not the person handing out food at a homeless shelter, sometimes it is the person who is actually eating with the homeless, because in that moment you step down out of your comfort zone and cease to think about yourself. These verses have really hit home with me. I know that I still fail at this and still use times of serving to gain the approval of others, but I hope that with a constant reminder of these verses that I will be able to remember the true point of being a servant, that I will be able to do everything out of Love for God.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Pennies
Lately I've been cleaning a lot as part of the internship at River Valley Ranch. There is something that I always seem to come across during that time, pennies. These small coins are considered by many as completely worthless or even an annoyance. I heard a story several years ago about a person who was rather rich, but he would always pick up a penny when he saw it on the ground, because it has the words "In God We Trust" engraved on it. The main part of the story is the man telling someone that every time he picks up a penny he reevaluates how he is living his life and whether or not he is really trusting God in that moment. If he is, he thanks God and keeps the penny as a sign of God's promise. If he is not, he steps back, prays and gives everything over to God and then keeps the penny as a sign of his commitment to trusting God. He goes on to say that he is glad that God is patient and that pennies are plentiful.
As I said though, I have been finding many of these pennies and I'm constantly reminded of this story and have passed it along to many of the other interns. Its easy to think about the story and think, man that is cool. Its a different story entirely to live it out. I mean really trusting God with everything in my life. Every single issue that goes through my head. Its a daunting task. Logic will often scream to me that my trust makes no sense and that it will only result in hardship for me. My own desires continually block my ability to see that I need to be trusting in the sovereign God. I'm sure that I'm not alone in that. Full out trust in an invisible God can seem difficult and can even lead to frustration at times, but we must trust nonetheless. Just as the man in the story said, I'm glad that God is patient and that pennies are plentiful.
As I said though, I have been finding many of these pennies and I'm constantly reminded of this story and have passed it along to many of the other interns. Its easy to think about the story and think, man that is cool. Its a different story entirely to live it out. I mean really trusting God with everything in my life. Every single issue that goes through my head. Its a daunting task. Logic will often scream to me that my trust makes no sense and that it will only result in hardship for me. My own desires continually block my ability to see that I need to be trusting in the sovereign God. I'm sure that I'm not alone in that. Full out trust in an invisible God can seem difficult and can even lead to frustration at times, but we must trust nonetheless. Just as the man in the story said, I'm glad that God is patient and that pennies are plentiful.
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Second Chances
Sitting at a table with a good friend of mine we ae simply enjoying a lunch together. He asks me in a sort of casual way, "What is the biggest problem with the world that you see?"
The question of course catches me off guard but I've come to expect this from him and so I sit and think about it for a while. I begin thinking about what the problems of my generation seem to revolve around and I answer, "Apathy. It is the one thing that keeps us from action and even caring about the hurts and pains of others. Love becomes trivialized because of it and it changes us completely from what God intended us to be."
He nods his head and we talk for a little while longer about it. As we're speaking I see a man with a long scraggly beard and a baseball cap. Other than noticing him, nothing else registers. Fifteen minutes later I see him walk out of the Chick-Fil-A with several bags around him made of old shirts. He was a homeless man and I didn't even care enough to realize it. I beat myself up about it quite a bit the rest of the day and even the following day I had a conversation about it discussing my own hypocrisy with another good friend. This time as I'm talking with her, she points behind me and standing just a few short feet behind is the same man from the day before. I turn around, smile, then get up and walk over to him having absolutely no idea what I'm doing. I say to him "Would you like to have breakfast with us and can I get you anything?"
He humbly replies, "Sure let me set this stuff down."
We walk up to the counter and the previously friendly cashier suddenly seems much more stern and almost irritable. I pay for his meal and we sit down to eat. We talk for a while about his plans and where he is headed. He tells us about his life and shares with us his past. He mentions that he is trying to get to Manassas just 20 miles north of where we are but trains don't run on Sundays or at least harder to get to as fewer people take them. I begin thinking and praying, "What is it that you'd like me to do Lord?"
"Take him to church with you."
"I can't really do that God. Maybe I can give him a couple bucks and pray for him."
"Take him to church then take him to Manassas."
"No, no you're not listening God, I can't do that. I only have a little time to Spend with my friend here and I don't want to waste it."
"Alright, Ryan I'll lay it out for you so its easy to understand. You do have things to do today. Just like I had things to do the day I was crucified. Now take him to church and then to Manassas." That officially ended the conversation.
It finally comes out that we are going to church soon and he asks if he can go with us. I simply reply, "Sure and afterwards we can head up to Manassas."
We head to church where I secretly hope someone will see him and ask if they can do something. I am shocked and a little disappointed to find much of the church ignore the person we have brought. Then I begin to realize that they are also ignoring each other. They had gone to church but had no real desire to have fellowship with each other. Only the Pastor and a friend of mine chose to stop and talk with both myself and this man.
The three of us get back into my car and drive 20-30 min. north to Manassas. The whole time I grow more and more impatient with his talking and I begin to think again about how much time I will be wasting and not getting to spend with my friend. It becomes a struggle to stay focused on him and what he is talking about despite the fact that he is pouring out part of his life story. We finally get to Manassas and we get him situated and we leave. It was a relief at first to be done with this task, but we are then both filled with awe at what had just taken place. It is amazing that an event that lasted 4-5 hours can affect me so greatly and that despite knowing him only a brief time, this man, David Owen Johnson, will have forever impacted my life.
The question of course catches me off guard but I've come to expect this from him and so I sit and think about it for a while. I begin thinking about what the problems of my generation seem to revolve around and I answer, "Apathy. It is the one thing that keeps us from action and even caring about the hurts and pains of others. Love becomes trivialized because of it and it changes us completely from what God intended us to be."
He nods his head and we talk for a little while longer about it. As we're speaking I see a man with a long scraggly beard and a baseball cap. Other than noticing him, nothing else registers. Fifteen minutes later I see him walk out of the Chick-Fil-A with several bags around him made of old shirts. He was a homeless man and I didn't even care enough to realize it. I beat myself up about it quite a bit the rest of the day and even the following day I had a conversation about it discussing my own hypocrisy with another good friend. This time as I'm talking with her, she points behind me and standing just a few short feet behind is the same man from the day before. I turn around, smile, then get up and walk over to him having absolutely no idea what I'm doing. I say to him "Would you like to have breakfast with us and can I get you anything?"
He humbly replies, "Sure let me set this stuff down."
We walk up to the counter and the previously friendly cashier suddenly seems much more stern and almost irritable. I pay for his meal and we sit down to eat. We talk for a while about his plans and where he is headed. He tells us about his life and shares with us his past. He mentions that he is trying to get to Manassas just 20 miles north of where we are but trains don't run on Sundays or at least harder to get to as fewer people take them. I begin thinking and praying, "What is it that you'd like me to do Lord?"
"Take him to church with you."
"I can't really do that God. Maybe I can give him a couple bucks and pray for him."
"Take him to church then take him to Manassas."
"No, no you're not listening God, I can't do that. I only have a little time to Spend with my friend here and I don't want to waste it."
"Alright, Ryan I'll lay it out for you so its easy to understand. You do have things to do today. Just like I had things to do the day I was crucified. Now take him to church and then to Manassas." That officially ended the conversation.
It finally comes out that we are going to church soon and he asks if he can go with us. I simply reply, "Sure and afterwards we can head up to Manassas."
We head to church where I secretly hope someone will see him and ask if they can do something. I am shocked and a little disappointed to find much of the church ignore the person we have brought. Then I begin to realize that they are also ignoring each other. They had gone to church but had no real desire to have fellowship with each other. Only the Pastor and a friend of mine chose to stop and talk with both myself and this man.
The three of us get back into my car and drive 20-30 min. north to Manassas. The whole time I grow more and more impatient with his talking and I begin to think again about how much time I will be wasting and not getting to spend with my friend. It becomes a struggle to stay focused on him and what he is talking about despite the fact that he is pouring out part of his life story. We finally get to Manassas and we get him situated and we leave. It was a relief at first to be done with this task, but we are then both filled with awe at what had just taken place. It is amazing that an event that lasted 4-5 hours can affect me so greatly and that despite knowing him only a brief time, this man, David Owen Johnson, will have forever impacted my life.
Ridiculous Love
Watching as a young boy curls up in his father's arms I'm suddenly struck by a facet of God that while understood is very poorly grasped. In this image here of the father and the son there is something else going on below the surface. The son shows an intimate trust of his father and the father shows this uncompromising, unfailing, ridiculous love. It is fascinating and phenomenal to think that we can care more about a small individual than ourselves. So many times we hear of stories that parents have risked or given their lives for their children. It is simply unfathomable. To be so incredibly in love that you would literally do anything for them. Then we see God and His Love. We by our very nature are prone to failure, we can't always be loving or caring. There are times when we do fail at loving others even our own family, but God doesn't. He is so drunk with love that He sent His son who was also part of Him to die for us. He had such a ridiculous love that He gave His life for us.
Its a simple fact to grasp, God loved us so He died for us, but how incredible is that love. He is the God of everything. He created the Heavens and the Earth. He told the galaxies how to work, He governs the universe and His love caused Him to choose torture and pain even when the very ones He was saving, spit upon Him. How hard is it for us to trust someone after we've been hurt. Romantically speaking it is incredibly difficult. You fall in love and then your heart is broken, you feel depressed and know you can't feel that way again. God has had His heart broken time and time again but He recklessly goes back for more. He is driven by this all-encompassing ridiculous Love that just won't let go. Its so incredible that no matter how much we think we understand about it, we still haven't scratched the surface. That is the kind of Love that I think everyone desires to have and at the same time trembles at the thought of it. A ridiculous, reckless, uncompromising, irrational kind of Love.
Its a simple fact to grasp, God loved us so He died for us, but how incredible is that love. He is the God of everything. He created the Heavens and the Earth. He told the galaxies how to work, He governs the universe and His love caused Him to choose torture and pain even when the very ones He was saving, spit upon Him. How hard is it for us to trust someone after we've been hurt. Romantically speaking it is incredibly difficult. You fall in love and then your heart is broken, you feel depressed and know you can't feel that way again. God has had His heart broken time and time again but He recklessly goes back for more. He is driven by this all-encompassing ridiculous Love that just won't let go. Its so incredible that no matter how much we think we understand about it, we still haven't scratched the surface. That is the kind of Love that I think everyone desires to have and at the same time trembles at the thought of it. A ridiculous, reckless, uncompromising, irrational kind of Love.
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