I want to see

I was recently reading the passage of Blind Bartimaeus (Mark 10:46-52) again and I was encouraged to put myself in the shoes of Bartimaeus.  I was moved by this experience and felt that I should share it.  My hope is that you find it useful in drawing near to God.

I've heard his name before and his reputation as a healer and teacher, yet I have never met him.  Day after day, I sit by the gate hoping that he'll pass by.  Then one day, I hear his name whispered.  A great crowd is passing by, I begin to shout, "Son of David, have mercy on me."  Some laugh, others tell me to be quiet.  I don't care.  I shout all the louder.  I hear his voice for the first time.  He is calling to me.  My heart leaps.  I've dreamt about this for months.  Could it be that my time has finally come?  I can feel my heart beating in my chest.  I spring to my feet and start sprinting toward the sound of his voice.  I can't see where I'm going and I run into someone and fall to the ground.  The laughter around me is drowned out by the sound of my own heartbeat.  I hear his voice calling me to him again.  I continue to run towards him.  I know that there are rocks in my path and I stumble over a couple of them.  As I begin to fall, I feel two strong arms catching me.  It is him!  He is holding me.  I feel his embrace, its full of strength and grace.  He calmly lifts me to my feet and holding me close he whispers, "What do you want me to do for you?"  My mind races.  What do I want him to do for me?  I've dreamt about this moment for so long and yet now that I'm here there are so many things that I desire.  Being able to leave the beggar's life, to be free of shame and guilt, to have the ability to avoid rocks in my path, to no longer have the condemnation of others, or being entirely dependent on others, or to have friends and a family of my own.  Yet now in this moment, all I can think about is the majesty before me.  Even in my blindness, I behold a splendor beyond comprehension.  Oh to see that splendor undimmed by my lack of sight.  Oh to view it, even if just for a moment.  Certainly this is what my heart aches for.  This is what I have longed for for so long.  "Lord," I respond, "I want to see."

What's your story?

The other day I was talking with my mentor and we got on the topic of preaching.  He told me a story about this time that he preached and had given this incredible talk on theological truths and the deep need for Jesus in our lives and then ended with a story from his personal life that helped to illuminate those truths.  Following his talk, the people came to him and commented on the story far more than the truths that he had talked about.  The lesson I was to learn here was that stories are always easier to remember and that if they help your talk, they should be included.

Stories really are fascinating.  We are entranced by them and often get caught up in the plot, eventually becoming part of it.  Many who know me, know that I have an extensive DVD collection.  I also have the ability to see a small scene of a movie and know exactly what movie it is, what its about, and how this particular scene will add to the movie.  The reason why is because each part of a good story adds to the story as a whole.  If you take out the beginning, the story doesn't make sense.  If you take out the middle, you're left confused and wondering how you got to the end.  If you take the end away,  well... you have the makings of a great series... to the chagrin of those in the audience who need some form of closure.

It's interesting though, because as great as my memory is in remembering scenes from movies, I often have the hardest time remembering names of people that I've met.  Sure I can make the argument that I'm simply bad with names, but is that really the reason that I don't remember their names?  I don't think it is.  You see each person lives a story, whatever that may be.  Just as a good movie requires each piece to be integrated to the overall idea of the story so too does each detail of your life.  Whenever you meet someone, your interaction with that person becomes integrated into part of your story, but the person does not necessarily become a part of it.  You have to choose to allow them to be part of your story.  A case in point.  I've been going to the same church for years.  There are many people that I've seen plenty of times, to the point that I say hi in the halls and occasionally ask them how they're doing.  The problem is that I can't remember their name.  I know I've been told it before, and that I've heard it several times, but I've never deemed it important enough to remember, because I haven't deemed them worthy to be part of my story.  Why is that?

I think its because we are generally afraid to be vulnerable with others.  We know that if we allow someone to be part of our lives and therefore part of our story, then they have the ability to change our story for good or ill.  By allowing someone to be part of my story, I give them the ability to hurt me deeply.  I give them the power to speak into my life and make changes, changes that I may not enjoy.  By allowing someone to enter into my story, I give up part of my control.  Yet this is exactly what we are called to.  We are called to bring people into our lives.  Hear me out here, I'm not talking about becoming an extrovert.  In fact, extroverts are just as guilty of this as introverts.  We need to break through the superficiality that has become commonplace in our relationships.  If we are able to invite others into our story then we are given the privilege of speaking into theirs.  We need to follow the example of Jesus who stepped down into our story and offered us a new one.  We are given this same opportunity when we enter the story of others and have the chance to have their story shape our own.  May we have the boldness to ask, "What's your story?"

Everything in Common

The Sun had just begun to set over Jatibonico.  The sky ablaze with colors of orange and red.  The beautiful sunset matched well with the breeze running through the town.  Each of us were headed for different house churches.  As we walked through the dusty streets I began relaying to the worship leader that I loved the song "Te Alabare" which we had sung at church the previous Sunday.  It was a song that I had heard in the States a number of times and knew the words to in Spanish.  He then decided to pull out his guitar and began playing the chords to the song.  We began singing as we walked through the town worshiping God.  It was such a beautiful time.  An unashamed and unhindered love that just overflowed into worshiping of God in song.  How amazing it was to just sing and give praises to God without any sort of thoughts for self.  We continued walking and he taught me another song in Spanish and I just continued to sing with him.

Later that night two other people were leading worship and they began singing a song.  The tune was familiar but I was still struggling to figure out what it was until they began singing, "Here I am to Worship."  I smiled and joined in as those of us who knew English began to sing.  As we continued singing there were several other songs that I knew in English and so we began singing in both Spanish and English for the rest of the time.  It was here that I just started thinking about what it would be like to worship around the throne.  With every nation and tongue singing praises to God.  What an amazing image.  To see the throne of God with each person worshiping God with all they have in their own unique way.  While we were singing words that were unfamiliar to each other, we were singing in the same spirit.  We were all singing for the glory of God and the languages of our hearts were saying the same things despite our inability to communicate with each other.

Throughout the week, I was always struggling to keep up.  I could understand bits and pieces of the conversations and could occasionally offer a sentence or two in Spanish.  The thing is though, that none of that mattered.  Each person, both Cuban and American, were worshiping God using the gifts that they had been given.  Not just in song, but in acts as well.  It was a great portrait of what God has envisioned for his church.  Yes there was a language barrier, but there was something more that connected us.  We were bound by one purpose and one goal.  To always give glory to God.  It was much like the passage in Acts 2 where the early church ate together and shared everything they had and had everything in common.  I now understand what they meant by that.  When the church is focused solely on glorifying God, then they have everything in common, no matter their differences.  May we begin to glorify God with every fiber of our being.  May we overcome our differences by focusing on that which binds us together, our faith in God.  May we learn what it means to have everything in common

Undignified

One of my favorite passages in scripture comes from 2 Samuel 6:22 where David says that he will become even more undignified than this.  He is saying this in response to his wife's criticism of how David worshiped before the Lord.  David's heart though is so captured by God that he doesn't care what those around him think about him nor even those in his own family.  He cares only about how he can worship God with every part of himself.  His dance before the Lord may have been an embarrassment to his wife, but the slave girls and servants enjoyed it.  These are the thoughts that I had in my recent mission trip to Cuba.

I walk out on the stage to the gleeful sounds of 500 kids.  I grin widely and begin my performance.  As soon as I begin trying to juggle, the guavas hit the ground.  I look over at Kyle and notice that his guavas are still in the air.  I know that this wasn't part of the plan, but my heart remains focused on my purpose here, so I sell it as a planned mistake.  I pick them up and try again.  This time they take a couple of seconds before falling to the ground.  Again, I sell it to the crowd.  All 500 kids remain in laughter and excitement.  I gesture prominently as I take a gulp of water and spit it at Kyle.  The giddiness apparent in the kids boils over to all out laughter.  I pretend it wasn't me and go back to juggling which I'm finally able to do at this point.  Kyle quietly picks up a bucket labeled "Agua" and begins chasing me with it, dumping the contents of confetti onto me and the kids that I'm hiding behind.  I can hear the giggles and laughter coming from kids all around.  I run off the stage and out into the street, our skit is over.

As I walk back to my room to cleanup the makeup and the costume, I take time to really take in what has happened today.  I'm in a place where the buildings all around are falling apart with the slow decay of time.  Where, with every heavy rainfall, the streets flood and smell like feces.  I take in the sights and see the emaciated animals that are the only source of nourishment to these starving people.  What Kyle and I offered these kids was a moment to step away from all of that and just enjoy a few brief moments of joy and peace.  How amazing it is to worship God by being a clown.  Sure, I may have acted like a fool, but just as David did in 2 Samuel 6, I did it before the Lord.  To paraphrase David, "I will become even more undignified than this, and I will be humiliated in my own eyes.  But by these children, I will be held in high honor."

Love Well

Over the last number of months I've been taking a leadership class at church.  It has been a thought provoking class, that has really been instrumental in forming me for my work in ministry.  Recently the question came up, when is it ok to simply back off from a person?  We've all been there.  Someone you interact with is constantly disruptive or constantly trying to subvert you.  Perhaps they're simply not getting it and won't listen to your advice.  When is it ok to stop casting pearls to swine?  Is this not what Jesus said in Matthew 7:6?  When is enough enough?

This is such a hard question to answer.  If you've been in this situation, you know how difficult it is.  Someone is constantly trying to subvert you, constantly seeking to work against you, and hindering you from your work.  The only thing you can think to do is either fight back or avoid them entirely.  Maybe it's that person that you've been trying to invest in and nothing is happening.  You continue to get beaten back and you just don't know how to get through to them.  You've tried everything you can think of and nothing is working.  They're still in the same place that they were and you can't think of anything else to do.  There's a book by Henry Cloud that talks about this situation and he puts people into three different categories, wise, foolish and evil.  The wise person is the one who listens to you, takes the good advice and works to enact it.  The foolish person is the person who constantly disregards instruction, who just doesn't "get it" and no matter how much you invest in them, nothing seems to work.  The evil person is the one who is out to get you.  Who will actively try to go behind your back and impede your vision.  Cloud's plan of action here is to invest more time into the wise, stop wasting time with the foolish and avoid the evil person entirely.

This serves as a great reminder for us.  Not because it is good advice, but because many of us have actually done this.  You see the idea of writing someone off as foolish or evil and thus not worth your time or investment is as far from the teachings of Jesus as possible.  Certainly you don't cast pearls to swine, but you do throw food to them so that they grow and mature.  This statement comes in the same passage that says, "Do not judge, lest you be judged." and goes on to say that "with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."  Dietrich Bonhoeffer in his book Cost of Discipleship makes a great point on this passage and says that those who live without Jesus are totally depraved, incapable of real good.  They do not need our condemnation.  They need our love and to be shown hope in God's restoration.  If we condemn them by the world's standards then we suggest that all they have to do is change that behavior and they'll be considered good.  This misses the point entirely in that the restoring work of Jesus in your life is the only way to be considered righteous.  When Jesus says, "don't give to dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs."  He is not saying that you can just leave them alone and never talk to them.  He is saying that you must meet them where they are.  Give to them what they need first.  Him.

I can't tell you how many times I've written someone off and simply ignored them because I found it easier than to put up with them.  I had figured that my own vision was more important than dealing with them.  The problem is that when I did that, I had lost my purpose that God had given me.  While Jesus was on Earth, he healed those who were sick, he tried desperately to point out to the Pharisees their sin, and he died on a cross for those who mocked and beat him.  Jesus spent his life restoring creation, in particular the brokenness found in people.  You see your purpose in life is to join in Christ's restoring work in this world.  Everyone is broken.  You, me, we're all broken people.  We must realize just how important this is.  How deeply it impacts our lives.  In Romans it says that all of creation groans as we wait for the future redemption.  Those you write off as fools and enemies are broken people who are in need of restoration.

C.S. Lewis once pointed out that you have never met a mere man.  Things in this world are mortal, kingdoms, companies, etc. but those we work with, laugh with, or snub are immortal.  As he puts it "Immortal horrors or everlasting splendors."  That is a haunting statement for anyone who has ever disregarded someone.  You have the opportunity to bring restoration into the soul of anyone you meet.  Even if its just a smile or putting up with their poor attitude.  You have an impact on them.  The way you interact and deal with someone that is difficult can make the difference between them being an immortal horror or an everlasting splendor.  Each person has potential.  Sometimes that potential is deep beneath their brokenness and you have to draw it out.  In most cases, it is hard and you won't feel like doing it.  As a Christian though, we are to follow Christ's example.

One of the most famous lines that Jesus ever spoke was "Love your enemies as yourself."  Unfortunately, I think we only pay lip service to it.  We acknowledge that is what we are called to, but too often we simply comment that it is hard and therefore we'll get it next time.  I know that that is how it has most often played out in my life.  If things get hard or difficult, I simply ignore the person or just work around them to accomplish the task at hand.  I don't take the time to truly love my enemies.  Now certainly, if Christ didn't love his enemies then how could he possibly call us to do the same.  So did he?  The answer is simple, of course he did and who were his enemies?  We were.  The entire human race is plagued with sin.  Because of our sin we are in active rebellion to God.  We put him on the cross and tortured him.  Yet Christ endured it for our sake and demonstrated perfectly how to love one's enemies.  To do everything and then some.

Now hear me out, I'm not suggesting that you should be a doormat and simply let them walk all over you.  You're not drawing out the potential within them and you're not restoring brokenness by doing that.  As we said earlier you need to give to the dogs and pigs what they need.  Being easy to trample over is not what they require.  You may need to show them tough love, but that love never comes with neglect and is always done in a way that seeks to draw out their potential and restore the brokenness in their life.  Can you imagine if Paul had never received the aid of Ananias after his conversion?  Paul was actively against the church and exterminating them one house at a time.  If ever there was an enemy to be avoided by anyone in the church it was Paul.  Yet Ananias was called by God to show love and compassion on Paul.  If Ananias had refused, Paul may have continued to not eat and drink and we would have never had many of the epistles found in the New Testament.  What if that person that you consider to be foolish or worse is hiding behind deep brokenness that once restored will unlock in them the potential to change the shape of the world?

In The Lord of The Rings, Frodo notices the creature Gollum in the Mine of Moria.  He says, "It was a pity that Bilbo didn't kill him when he had the chance."

Gandalf replies, "Pity?  It was pity that stayed Bilbo's hand.  Many that live deserve death. And some die that deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then be not too eager to deal out death in the name of justice, fearing for your own safety. Even the wise cannot see all ends.  In my heart I feel that Gollum has some part left to play in this story for good or evil."

I think this statement speaks to this idea very well.  Will we neglect and write off people who deserve restoration?  Or will we do the exact opposite of what our culture says to do with troublesome people?  Will we love them and draw out their potential?  Will we look past their brokenness and see in them the once beautiful image that they were made to reflect?  Will we endure their persecution and hate and overcome it with compassion and love?  Will we love well?

The Rebel King

A couple weeks ago, I wrote a blog that talked about Bartimaeus and his famous encounter with Jesus.  He was the blind man who Jesus met along the road and Jesus called him over and asked him one of the most poignant questions of all time, "What do you want me to do for you?"  I was thinking about that passage while I was in one of my classes the other day when it occurred to me what those around him must have actually thought concerning him.  They watched him as he performed miracles.  They saw his generosity to beggars and how he radically changed the lives of those he came into contact with.  They witnessed the moments in which he silenced the Pharisees and exposed their false teachings.  They were amazed at his teachings and the authority that he seemed to have as he drove out demons.  I can imagine that rumors would have started to spread throughout the crowds.  Whispers could have been heard all around asking the same question, "Is this the Messiah?  Is this the King we have waited for?"

You see people had an idea of what the Messiah would be like.  They felt that he would be a new king, one that would restore the Jewish nation and establish an actual kingdom.  Their idea of king would have been based off of the kings of Israel and how they led.  The idea that the Messiah would serve wouldn't even enter their mind.  For Jesus to ask a blind beggar the question, "What do you want me to do for you?" would have been hard to understand by his followers.  To go one step further and actually do what the beggar asked would have been Earth-shattering to them.  It would have destroyed all of their preconceived ideas concerning the Messiah and in most cases, they probably would have simply assumed that Jesus couldn't possibly be the coming king.

As I thought about this, I realized that my concept of a king did not match up at all to Jesus.  If I'm honest, I don't think I really grasped the idea that Jesus was king, only that He is my friend and Savior.  King seemed like such a distant concept, but it was simply because Jesus was not a normal King.  He is a Rebel King.  He rebels against the social ideas about kingship and declares a totally different idea.  He is not constrained by our notions of king, but instead conforms our ideas to his.  We are in the midst of Holy Week.  It begins with Palm Sunday and the triumphal entry.  Looking at it in scripture, you can just sense the excitement.  Here is the new King riding into Jerusalem to ascend the throne.  Yet Jesus's throne is not the same as his followers thought it would be.  Rather he scandalously chooses the cross.  He trades in his throne for the cross and asserts his kingdom by making the ultimate sacrifice.  He is the Rebel King and offers us the opportunity to share in his kingdom, by picking up our cross and following him.  May we follow the King wherever he calls.  To him alone who gave up everything may we swear our allegiance.  May we take up our cross and follow the Rebel King.

Eternal Perspective

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about making better choices and how to live before God.  As I was pondering this idea, I started thinking about making choices that matter.  We often talk about making good choices and how to have a good life but what does that really look like?  We say in Christian circles that it isn't about the money or the car and all of that, but do we really mean it?  It becomes a different situation I think when someone offers you money to compromise your purpose in life.  Recently I watched the movie Courageous.  It's a really good movie and one of my favorite parts is the story of Javier.  During the movie we see Javier's difficulty in finding a job and his struggle with providing for his family.  Eventually he finds a job that has some consistency to it.  He's called into the office one day and he's offered a promotion with the condition that he do something for the manager that would compromise his integrity.  Can you imagine being in that situation?  Here you are struggling to put food on the table with the chance to do exactly that and do it well, but it would come at the cost of sacrificing your integrity.  You see it is easy to make the statement that money doesn't have a sway over you when you're not in a situation like this.

Money isn't the only thing that vies for our attention however.  In America, one of the most cherished things that we strive for is happiness.  Our interactions with others seem to always demonstrate that fact.  We put up walls and boundaries to ensure that we don't get hurt by someone else.  We protect that happiness with everything that we have and look at vulnerability as a weakness.  Is this really how God intended us to be?  To protect our happiness at the expense of those around us?  How is that we can justify this way of living?  We need a shift in perspective.  We're too focused on our present situation and how it can be improved, we keep forgetting that this is temporary, we don't have an eternal perspective.

What does it really mean to have an eternal perspective though?  My dad tosses that term around a lot.  I find that it means that the actions and choices we make here on Earth need to be made in a way that shows what we're really living for.  We are here to give glory to God and to tell others what He has done for us.  We are not here to make lots of money and have a nice house and a nice car; those things may happen, but they aren't our sole purpose in life.  You see those things aren't bad by themselves, but when they become the purpose for which we live, then we have missed out entirely on our real purpose.  To live with an eternal perspective is to seek to glorify God in all of your actions.  It is to live knowing that real rewards and treasures are only attainable by doing the will of God.  I've only begun to process this and to understand what it would look like to live like this, but I have realized that the things in this world that really matter  tend to deal with people.  Showing love to others and serving them is at the very center of the heart of God.  We need to move our perspective from one that focuses on our current situation to one that looks to eternity and the things that are on God's heart.  We need to stop worrying about how helping someone may harm us.  We need to move away from this safe and comfortable lifestyle and move into one that is as radical as Jesus.  We need to move away from living for this world and into a living with an eternal perspective.